Lady
How I’ve missed you
With your hands around me
And the smell of your perfume
It’s been so long
Since I’ve seen your face
Since your heartbreak
Recovered
We don’t have to talk
Right now
But one day
I’d like to know how
You managed to leave
With your head
And your heart
All in one piece
A couple weeks ago, my friend Devon asked if I’d be down to do a photo shoot for spooky season. He’d been playing around with film lately and had just gotten some black and white film that he wanted to test out. Of course, I said yes! This was my first photo shoot ever and it was so much fun.
When he asked me where I wanted to shoot, I had no clue. Naturally, I asked my mom if she had any ideas, and she suggested the Mohonk Preserve Testimonial Gateway in New Paltz. We utilized the eeriness of the stone structure and nearby woods to capture some really cool moments and visuals on film. Then, we went back through to capture them on his digital camera as well. Flip through and check out the digital photos in the gallery below!
Devon Wood is a photographer, videographer and content creator born and raised in the Hudson Valley, NY. He’s always used photos and videos for both storytelling and as a therapeutic, expressive outlet. Outside of creating, he enjoys the outdoors, television, movies and sports. Follow him on Instagram: @unrealdevonwood
In 1908, the “Smiley Testimonial Gateway” was built as a 50th wedding anniversary gift for Albert Keith Smiley and Eliza Phelps Smiley, the founders of Mohonk. Around 1,200 of the couple’s friends contributed the funds that would help build such a monumental structure and create the perfect entrance to the Mohonk property. If you visit, be sure to look for the inscription over the arch of the gateway that leads to the 3.2 miles of walkway through a line of trees that is quite a beautiful site to see.
“…Aside from his outright absolute brutality, his mannerisms and demeanor make him such an unconventional character…”
(I had no idea what I was in for with this movie…)
SURPRISE! I watched Terrifier, and brethren, I was not mentally or emotionally prepared whatsoever. I had been wanting to watch this movie for some time, and since Terrifier 3 came out on a day I happened to be home and wasn’t feeling well, I thought, “Perfect! I’ll add the first one to my Spooktober list and surprise the gang.”
If you don’t know, Terrifier is a slasher with our main man being Art the Clown. This guy dresses up in a black and white clown outfit, and is essentially a mime. He doesn’t utter a sound throughout the entire movie, which just adds to his sadistic nature. And… well… that’s it. We don’t get any backstory in Terrifier, but I do know that there’s a prequel called All Hallow’s Eve that adds a little bit of insight to who the hell Art is. But, yeah… no one is safe from this dude, and even when you think there might be some humanness to him, you are quickly proven wrong.
I was quite literally not ready for what transpired in that ~90 minutes of pure chaos. Just the opening scene itself! From the first 5 minutes until about halfway through this movie, you’re on the edge of your seat wondering where the fuck these directors heads were at making this and are they like… mentally sane? And I say “until halfway through the movie” because there is a bit of a lull where things go from 100 to 0 pretty drastically. I feel like that might have been on purpose to give the audience some time to breathe in-between the absolute madness that occurs.
There’s a scene in a pizzeria where Tara and Dawn (our mc girlies) are trying to sober up before they drive home. Art, who has already been seen by the girls, sits down at a table across from them. Tara and Art have the best stare-down, tension building moment. When they lock eyes, Art begins to make faces at her, seemingly trying to get a reaction, but Tara is stone cold. One of the workers at the pizzeria asks Art to order something or GTFO. There’s a bit of a struggle and Art leaves.
Blink and you miss it, but at the pizzeria there’s a jack-o-lantern on top of the glass case where they put the pies. Of course, as you might have guessed, these dudes have no chance of making through the rest of this movie. BUT when one of the guys comes out from the backroom looking for his co-worker, he’s met with Art, covered in blood with a big ole knife in hand. As he’s being attacked we get a glimpse of the missing co-workers head on the glass case, which replaced the jack-o-lantern, lit up and all. If you’re not completely sickened by the gore and slashing that occurs, it’s actually pretty hysterical.
After the pizza shop interaction, I literally wrote in my notes, “I really think I found my new favorite horror movie.” What that says about me, I dunno. We’re a judgement-free zone here, okay? The reason why I like this movie so much is because everything happens so quickly and there’s no time to process what’s going on. It’s almost as if the directors were trying to get the audience in a real Fight or Flight of what they’d do in each situation. It’s so wild to experience.
I’m not going to go too much into detail about some of the scenes because you need the unawareness going into this movie if you haven’t seen it. I refuse to spoil the shock factor!!!
Now, let me talk about Art the Clown as a character. Aside from his outright absolute brutality, his mannerisms and demeanor make him such an unconventional character. Like honestly, there’s some shocking ways that Jason Voorhees, Michael Meyers and Freddy Kruger kill their victims, but nothing compares to Art’s style and savagery.
The acting by David Howard Thornton is impeccable. The way in which he utilizes his entire body to express his emotions is beyond impressive. When he’s reacting to certain things that take place, his expressions are so over-the-top that it’s relatively easy for the viewer to guess what he would be saying if he could speak. (I assume there’s a reason he can’t… unless it’s a voluntary attribute that Art takes upon himself to implement… which would make his character even more insane than he already is.)
He’s brutal, man. When he’s attacking people, he’s making sure he’s getting them good. I also feel like he plays up to each victim’s personality, almost like he’s mocking them. Like with Tara, since the pizzeria incident, the antagonistic style of his attacks and torture mimicked the way he was egging her on sitting at the table with his facial expressions. There’s another character, who is referred to as the “Cat Lady” according to casting, who is clearly homeless and mentally ill. She has a doll that she thinks is her daughter and Art takes advantage of her motherly instinct after she asks him, “Is there kindness in you?” And I swear, you start to think for a second that she possibly makes some type of impact with how she asks him that question. Unfortunately, no one is safe in this movie. Literally every single person that enters the chat is not safe in any capacity.
Another thing that really freaked me out was that, even when Art was stabbed and beaten by some of our brave characters, he doesn’t utter a peep, dude. Like no noise at all. Then will shoot the camera a side-eye or an eye-roll breaking that third wall and you’re like… “Are you kidding..?” Then he does some shit like popping into the room on a mini bicycle to chase one of the girls. Or when he pulls out one of those oversized clown horns to tease one of the victims. He even gives the finger to a girl that bamboozles him in the midst of them duking it out. Nothing is serious to this guy and it makes it ever so slightly easier to watch, but man, the barbarism is enough to really fuck you up.
To be completely honest, though, I really dig Art the Clown as a horror icon, and, dare I say, he’s my favorite. If you’ve seen the movie, you absolutely know what I mean. He’s a goof and he’s actually pretty funny, just in really fucked up ways. Some of the scenes are so detailed and so raw, and then we have Art sprinkling in humor, like he’s playing up the sadistic clown stereotype. He’s truly the best at it.
I will say, about 3 quarters of the way through, I was feeling kind of exhausted, like the flip flopping between absolutely wild slasher scenes and unexpected comedy. It’s like, not only does Art play with the emotions of his victims, but he plays with the audience’s emotions as well. I couldn’t tell how on edge I was during the entire movie until the end credits came on and I involuntarily breathed a sigh of RELIEF. The ruthlessness of how he kills people is just so profound, it makes you physically, verbally and emotionally react to what’s happening. I felt like I was traumatized for a couple days after the fact.
I’d assume Art is something like Michael Meyers or Jason because of the sequels, Terrifier 2 and Terrifier 3. This guy just keeps coming back. Although, truthfully, I think I’d stand more of a chance against Michael or Jason than Art. If you found yourself in one of the Terrifier movies, there’s little to no hope for you, bestie. Sorry!
You’re probably wondering if I’m planning on seeing the sequels… and absolutely I am! I’m spacing them out though. I haven’t decided if I’ll be writing reviews for those yet, but make sure you’re subscribed so you’ll be the first to know if I do!
Let me know in the comments or on the socials if you’ve seen Terrifier, and if you agree with my thoughts about Art the Clown. That’s all I have for this one.
Stay tuned for my next Spooktober horror review!
Xox
“…The face is almost antagonistic, challenging the author to not only figure out what’s going on here, but emanates, “Are you sure you want to do this?”…”
[I will say that nothing beats the first time watching this. I kind of wish I hadn’t seen it before so that this review would be a bit more emotionally charged, but it is what it is.]
The opening title screen is a doozy. If you know, you know. If you don’t, stop right here, go watch the movie and come back.
We’re met with a family of four moving into their new home. The father, Ellison, is an author whose best-seller is a true crime story that actually helped solve an unsolved murder case. In the kitchen, Ellison is chatting with his wife who makes him promise that they didn’t “just move into a house where a family was murdered.” Well… with the context of the opening title scene and a slow panning of the camera, we realize that this writer has indeed moved his family into a house where the previous family had been murdered. Technically, he wasn’t breaking any promises, though, because they were killed in the backyard. (Please let me know if you get that reference.)
Rather quickly, Ellison finds a box in the attic with an old-school projector and film rolls. There are 5 tapes that are labeled: “Pool Party ’66,” “BBQ ’79,” “Lawn Work ’86,” “Sleepy Time ’98” and “Family Hanging Out ’11”. Naturally, his curiosity gets the best of him and he brings them to his office to watch with whiskey in hand.
I have to say, I did giggle a bit when he first sits down with his notepad and beverage. I was like… “Oh my god, that’s me right now taking notes.”
The first video he watches is “Family Hanging Out ’11”, which takes place at the home they’ve just moved into. It shows the family playing in the backyard, seemingly unaware that they’re being filmed. Suddenly, the film cuts to 4 of the family members standing under a large branch, their heads covered, hands tied behind their backs and ropes around their necks. We switch over to Ellison, who went from casually sipping, relaxing in his chair to sitting straight up, eyes widened and in utter shock and disbelief of what he’s about to witness. An adjacent branch, which starts to break, has the ropes attached to it…meaning that once that branch begins to fall, the leverage would pull the ropes up. I’m sure you can assume the outcome. Then, the film ends.
Ellison immediately leaves his office and heads to the backyard where the tree with the broken limb stands towering over him. As he looks up, we’re at the perspective of looking down from the limb where the family’s lives ended. If you don’t pay attention you’ll miss it, but amongst the sound of the wind, you can hear what sounds like ropes rubbing against the bark, as if the family was still hanging there. This was such a subtle detail, yet a masterful one.
We won’t go through each tape, but Ellison does go through and watch each one. He realizes that there’s one child missing from each family’s tape. Instinctively, he grabs his phone and dials 911. The operator answers, only to get no response. He stops, glances over at his previous best-seller and hangs up the phone. At this point, he’s convinced he’s just found his big break for his next true crime novel.
There are some cool moments while he’s watching the other films. They include a dope montage of him loading up the projector with film and setting everything up. However, they totally used the same montage later in the movie. The sounds and music paired with each film differ, but, of course, they’re creepy as hell. Not only are the films themselves already gut-wrenching, but the addition of the odd music and weird sounds make it all the more uncomfortable.
There comes a point when Ellison notices that there’s a face that appears in each film. He’s able to transfer stills onto his computer, prints them and hangs them on his cork board. The first time he glares at one of the images, it’s like a standoff. The face is almost antagonistic, challenging the author to not only figure out what’s going on here, but emanates, “Are you sure you want to do this?” It’s ultimately an incredibly powerful scene. Ellison gets in contact with an occult professor, sends him these images and we learn that this mysterious face could be an ancient demonic entity that preys on children.
The missing children are introduced in a pretty unique way. Ellison can’t see them, but as a viewer, you’re able to see them zooming around the house in slow-motion while Ellison is moving at regular speed. The kids’ movements coincide with noises around the house that grab his attention, forcing him to move from one room to the other. They’re messing with him, trying to confuse him and using his curiosity against him.
The last night at their new home, Ellison gets drawn back up to the attic when he hears some thumps in the night. When he makes his way through the hatch, he’s met with the children sitting on the floor in front of the entity, and they all slowly turn to look at him. It’s just as anticlimactic as it sounds, honestly. This scene was a bit underwhelming compared to how the rest of the film was shot. I’m not sure if that’s because I’ve seen it before, but I wasn’t overly fond of how it was executed.
After this, Ellison wakes up his whole family and says they need to leave. Then, they end up cutting to the family moving back into their old house. Everyone’s happy, the lighting of the film is brighter and for the first time in a horror movie, you might be thinking, “Oh hell yeah, they actually left before shit got too real.”
Wrong-o.
Ellison gets a call from the professor who explains this entity’s goal is to receive a sacrifice from its worshipers in order to “save” them. As the camera cuts back, we see Ellison sitting alone at his desk with the deepest darkness looming behind him, as if to visibly display his impending doom. He gets a phone call from Officer So-And-So, who he’s been sending to voicemail all night. As he answers the phone, he takes his coffee that his daughter brought to him before she went to bed. The officer explains that he did his own research about the filmed murders. He tells Ellison, “The problem is that you moved… You not only sped up his timeline, you put yourself in it.”
Turns out that each family that died had lived in the preceding murdered family’s home. Once the family moved, they were murdered. Does that make sense? So, because Ellison moved his family out of the home he thought was haunted, he now put his family in this murderous timeline. When he hears this, he looks down at his mug to find a glowing green liquid swirling around in his coffee. He drops his phone, then the mug and hits the floor.
I remember being absolutely floored (no pun intended) when they explained that twist. Anyone would think that if you’re in a potentially haunted house and seeing little ghost children that moving out is the best option. Apparently not! That’s the point of the kids harassing Ellison in the first place. They spooked him to get them to move so the entity’s timeline could persist. But how wild of a twist is that!? They would have survived had they stayed at the previous home! Who knows, maybe a little sage could have made the kids eff off.
Sadly, as you might have already assumed, the author and his family become victims themselves, adding to the collection of tapes. I really didn’t divulge TOO much about this movie because the first-time watch is unparalleled. If you haven’t seen this movie, PLEASE do yourself a favor and watch it ASAP. You will not be disappointed.
I hope you enjoyed my thoughts on Sinister! I encourage you to watch this movie and share your reactions in the comments. October is only halfway over – plenty of time for some well-deserved spooks!
Stay tuned for my next review…it’s pretty terrifying.
…It’s the way in which they verbalize their dread and incredible anxiety that shakes you as a viewer…
I mean, honestly, if you’re a horror fan and haven’t seen this movie already, you’re seriously missing out.
The Blair Witch Project is a found footage style horror film that follows 3 college students filming a documentary about the legend of the Blair Witch. We’re introduced to Heather, who rallies up Josh and Mike to help her produce a film with the intention of finding answers for the strange happenings revolving around the Black Hills forest.
During the first 10 minutes or so, you’re getting used to the style of filming. The cameras are all over the place, the actors seem to talk over each other a lot, but somehow this seems to draw the viewer in more. I found myself relating to this type of scenario – in college working on a group project with a couple classmates that don’t really seem all too interested in the actual content itself.
Their plan was a simple one – find some cool, scenic shots, narrate some stories, set up camp for a night and wrap up the film. They get some nice b-roll shots, Heather talks about some of the lore and they finally set up camp. In the morning they venture off on a “shortcut” that Heather believes will take them directly back to their car. I’m sure you could guess that this “shortcut” was a mistake.
So far, there really isn’t anything significantly scary that’s happened yet. However, once they begin to realize they might be lost, you can feel the anxiety and panic emanating from Mike as he begins to get frustrated with Heather and starts to yell for help. His emotions feel real, and I explain why that is at the end of this review. So, keep reading!
This movie is pretty disorienting, so forgive me if my timeline is incorrect. I’m pretty sure the second night is when shit gets real. Heather, Josh and Mike are all sleeping in their tent when they’re woken up by noises that sound like walking. All of a sudden their tent begins to shake and voices can be heard outside. The 3 students sprint out of the tent into the darkness of the woods. As they’re all trying to guide each other with screams and the lights from their cameras, you hear Heather yell, “What the fuck is that!?” about something that’s completely out of frame.
Remember, this is a found footage film. As they’re running, you’re only getting glimpses of trees, brush and their legs as they’re trying to get distance from whatever was near their tent. So when Heather sees something off camera, your imagination begins to run wild as to what she caught sight of.
The next day during their venture, Heather goes to grab the map they’d been using as a guide and realizes it’s gone. The boys, that are now a bit delirious, begin laughing and joking about how lost they are and poking fun at Heather for losing the map. Then, as if snapping them all back into reality, Mike ends up blurting out that he kicked the map into the stream because “it wasn’t helping anyway.” This sends Heather and Josh into a full blown spiral, verbally and physically attacking Mike for doing something so selfish and stupid. The way that their moods and demeanor change so abruptly is chilling. From lighthearted giddiness to full blown emotional breakdown…it’s pretty wild.
Following this, I believe we cut straight to the next morning where Heather wakes up and emerges from the tent only to realize that Josh is missing. She calls for him a few times to see if he responds and when he doesn’t, she wakes Mike up. Here is where the genuine emotion truly gets a rise out of the viewer.
The first blood-curdling scream of the film is Heather calling for Josh. The pure fear and emotion coming from the single syllable of his name genuinely shocks you to your core. I’m telling you, once you hear how she screams for him, it’ll be seared into your memory. Mike joins in on calling out for Josh, and in pure terror, he yells, “Tell me where you are, Josh!” It’s the way in which they verbalize their dread and incredible anxiety that shakes you as a viewer. You hear the painful realization of how dire this situation truly is for them.
After calling out for Josh for hours, Mike finds one lone cigarette at the bottom of his bag. Heather puts the camera against a tree with Mike in frame, squatting on the ground, taking small puffs as to pull every last bit of comfort from the nicotine. Heather walks over, squats next to him, he hands her the cig and she rests her head on his shoulder.
Another incredibly simple, but impactful moment…Heather finds something and is panicking, but won’t tell Mike what she found. As she’s trying to put on the ginormous hiking backpack, her hair gets caught. In the most defeated and pitiful way, she quietly and vulnerably says, “My hair is caught.” This particular moment in this scene deeply resonated with me. The simplicity of how she said it, mid-panic attack and sobbing…it felt way too familiar. Reluctantly asking for help in the midst of losing your grip on reality.
Of course, we have the iconic scene of Heather speaking into the camera. Truly, this is the most iconic scene in horror film history. You need to watch it for yourself. (Wait until you read why.)
Finally, we have the last night. The two are woken up by what sounds like Josh yelling for help. They’re drawn further and further into the woods until they find an abandoned house. The disorientation gets worse and they’re drawn upstairs, then downstairs to the basement. Mike, running ahead of Heather yells out, “I hear him downstairs!” Another iconic quote, in my humble opinion. The way he says it, anxiously, but also with the minute sense of hope that they’ve finally found him. The last 30 seconds or so, all you hear is Heather screaming out for Mike, with no response. Heather finally reaches the basement to find Mike standing in the corner. Her camera drops.
Now, what if I told you that every single quote and scene I referenced was completely improvised by the actors? That’d be nuts…right?
Well, guess what. Turns out that the directors had many unconventional tendencies with just about every aspect of this film. From auditions to scripting, nothing was the norm. Heather, Josh and Mike were given a script with zero dialogue. On top of that, the directors kept their distance from the actors throughout filming, so there was very little foresight into what was going to happen in each scene. WHICH MEANS, not only were their lines completely improvised, their emotions and panic were 100% authentic and genuine reactions to what was going on around them.
My friend Nicholas, who is a writer himself, expressed his thoughts based solely on his memory of the film, “I wonder if that’s why it felt so real.”
It felt so real because these actors weren’t acting.
After learning this, my obsession with this movie has grown exponentially. The Blair Witch Project is officially in my top movies considering everything the actors went through…and apparently are still going through.
I know I mentioned on my Instagram that I wanted to include my 2 cents about the lawsuits, however I didn’t want to take away from the review itself. I’ll be writing up a separate piece that dives into the numerous lawsuits that these actors have and are currently dealing with. But, for now, we’ll leave it here.
I hope you enjoyed the read! When and if you end up watching (or re-watching) this film, let me know your thoughts in the comments. I’d love to know how and if your perspective has changed knowing what you know now.
Make sure to subscribe with your email to get all my future posts (including The Lawsuits piece) delivered directly to your inbox.
Until next time, my spooky friends.
This article has some more super interesting information about the film, directing and actors: https://people.com/true-story-behind-the-blair-witch-project-8685471
“…As all of this is going on, the viewer can only attempt to desperately put pieces together to make it make sense in their own head…”
[It’s difficult to say that this review will really have spoilers because…well…the entire movie doesn’t have much context to begin with besides a very loose plot. The biggest spoiler I think would be how this movie is actually filmed. Other than that, there really isn’t much that I could spoil unless I go into excruciatingly painful detail about some of the scenes. The entire movie is as vague as the brief description is. Two children find themselves home alone with no means of escape, seemingly held by some sort of trickster entity lurking in the darkness.
Enticing. I know.]
So, I kept seeing Skinamarink under “recommended” on numerous streaming platforms. I never checked out the trailer until right before I watched it, but I thought it seemed creepy based on the movie stills alone.
Surprise! I decided to watch it. And I think I liked it.
If you watch the trailer, you pretty much spoil the entire theme of the movie yourself. I actually thought it was one of those trailers that purposefully doesn’t give much away and keeps it vague intentionally.
Well… everything the trailer shows is basically what the movie is.
The first descriptor that comes to mind? Unsettling.
The atmosphere and sense of dread alone could give anyone goosebumps, but what really adds to the creep factor are the camera angles.
In every single shot of this movie, you’re forced to think, “Was this really filmed this way on purpose?” Each shot looks like a mis-take – some are out of focus, most are peaking around corners or only filming the children’s feet pitter-pattering down the hallway when they get frightened by whatever they’re stuck in the house with.
Not to mention, the majority of the dialogue between the two kiddies is whispering back and forth, assuming as to not alert the entity of their whereabouts. What’s even creepier, is that the camera will stay in one place as you hear the children whispering, walking past and fading into the darkness, without ever seeing them in the frame.
It’s not until about halfway through the movie that we realize what they’re stuck in the house with is some kind of shape-shifter. It mimics their mother, the viewer is forced to assume, and when they get close, they’re spooked by loud shouting or growling in a gurgled, deep voice that doesn’t even sound human. Or, in other scenes, toys and furniture move on their own, noises and glass shatters come from rooms just out of view and things are thrown around, including the children at some point if I’m recalling correctly.
As all of this is going on, the viewer can only attempt to desperately put pieces together to make it make sense in their own head. You’re either staring at odd angles with small child-like shadows being cast on the walls, or you’re staring at an empty room while hearing a muffled commotion from the next room over, not ever having a clear view of what the hell is actually going on.
Every aspect of this movie is left up to each individual viewer’s interpretation. With no clear indication of the actual plot besides children being alone in an overtly spooky house with no means of escape, this just adds to the uneasiness of it all. Especially when you realize that there’s something trapped inside with them.
So… if you’re attempting to get a very loose idea of what this movie consists of, we have:
Kids home alone.
Dark, spooky house.
No adults to be found.
A mysterious, shape-shifting entity.
And no escape.
I saw a handful of viewers relating the story back to childhood fears of the dark, or even a young child’s perception of abuse within their family. I guess I could see how viewers could connect those dots, but after my own deep thoughts and examination about this film, I feel there are no dots to connect.
Skinamarink was left open to the viewer’s own unique interpretation, and how it translates itself is up to the individual watching it.
My closing thoughts are this – I really liked Kyle Ball‘s bold and unusual decision to direct this film the way that he did. I feel like a lot of horror movies are predictable these days. I felt as if I was being dragged through this movie as if I’m one of the kids trying to figure out what’s going on and how I’m going to get out of that house. I really reflected on this movie and I genuinely appreciate the effort that was put into it.
My final point: How you perceive the film says more about you than the film.
I encourage you to watch this movie and come to your own conclusions about what is going on here. A rainy, chilly evening in October sounds like the perfect vibe for an unsettling, suspenseful journey.
And hey, I’m publishing this just in time for spooky season! If you watch it, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Until next time, buds.
Learning how to cope with negative feelings can be just as difficult as the situation that brought about the negative feelings in the first place. We get sad, angry, jealous, confused, distraught, and sometimes it’s difficult to find relief. Let’s be real, feeling any kind of negativity within us just doesn’t feel good – physically, mentally, energetically, emotionally, or spiritually.
And if you’re reading this, you’re probably going through a tough time right now. I just want you to know that I’m here for you and you are not alone in what you’re feeling. Nor are you alone in searching for relief and coping mechanisms for how to overcome these challenging feelings.
The information below is all opinion and based on my own personal experiences.
I want to clarify, that I’m no medical professional by any means. Therefore, if you are in a mental health crisis, please reach out to your doctor, someone you trust, or call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (988).
Remember, there are so many people that are grateful that you exist. You are so loved.
I feel like the word “cope” has been thrown around a bit too much when it became part of mainstream culture. I’ve noticed some internet dwellers use it to emphasize dramatics or in a sarcastic manner. However, like the definition above reads, it’s used to describe overcoming significant situations.
Coping can be confused with distracting. I have to say that I’m guilty of distracting myself from negative emotions in order to push them aside and keep it moving. Honestly, that’s not a healthy thing to do.
In the definition, the terms deal with and attempt to suggest action. When we cope with negativity, we are taking action to address these feelings head-on, instead of disregarding and suppressing them, or using distractions to keep our minds busy. But just as the word attempt suggests, sometimes we try to deal with these things and we struggle.
So, what do we do then?
The word transmute means to change something’s form, nature, or substance. When we talk about transmuting energy, think of it as utilizing negative feelings to fuel an action that is releasing in some way, shape, or form.
For example, if you suffer from anxiety, it’s well-known that exercise is effective in diminishing feelings of anxiety, worry, and stress. This is a healthy way to not only cope with intense negative feelings, but also to transmute the negative energy you’re feeling into energy for a workout. In college, I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and one of my main outlets, or coping mechanisms, was the on-campus gym.
There are many other coping strategies I still use to this day that allow me to redirect energy from festering negative emotions into more positive, healthy activities that release these feelings.
It’s as simple as you might think. Grab a journal, printer paper, your phone’s notes app, or laptop and get everything out. Write a letter (that you won’t mail), an email (that you won’t send), poetry, or something less structured. This allows you to get negative feelings out in a way that isn’t filtered and really has no negative repercussions.
Of course, talking through your feelings and emotions during a difficult time with someone you trust is a great way to release. Sometimes others are able to offer different perspectives that can be helpful when learning how to cope with negative feelings.
Yes, you read that right! I recently had a conversation with a friend that revolved around an Instagram reel. The video was captioned, “POV: you see me doing rasputin in my bathroom to scare off the panic attack”. And yes, there was someone doing the rasputin dance in their bathroom. When I sent it to them as something to giggle about, they said that dancing has actually worked for them when dealing with their anxiety. “Okay but singing and dancing actually helps.”, they said, “I think it tricks my brain that I must be comfortable if I’m going [to do] those things.” I honestly have never tried this one, but I’m willing to try it out if the opportunity arises.
It’s simple really. Using negative energy to do something that you love is transmutation. You’re transmuting the negative feelings and energy into proactive energy going toward something you enjoy. Whether it’s writing, reading, painting, decorating, shopping, cooking, going for a drive, etc. You have the ability to take control of your energy and feelings. Plus, you may even create or find something beautiful in the process.
Finally, allow yourself to feel these emotions deeply, acknowledge them and accept them. I know sometimes our initial response to anything negative is to push it down, distract ourselves, or move on quickly. I get it. But negative energy and feelings are tricky. The more they sit inside of us, the more they take a toll on our inner well-being. Frankly, it’s not healthy. The goal is to learn how to turn negative feelings into energy that can be used to do something more positive. Practice makes progress.
I hope that this shed some light on any darkness you may be facing. Like I said at the beginning, learning how to cope with negative feelings can be just as tough and what brought them about. As long as we acknowledge them, we’re gentle with ourselves during this time, and we learn what works best for us to cope with them in a healthy manner, nothing will be able to break you.
If you or someone you love needs support, please call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (988). There are so many people that are grateful that you exist. You are not alone.
I’m tired of mundane bullshit.
I want to talk about life, music, purpose, ideals and eccentric thoughts –
raw conversations, deep emotions.
Get a coffee and talk about the symbolism in our dreams.
Go to a park and let me join your internal debates.
Take a walk by the water where we discuss life’s purpose.
Drink wine by a fire and reminisce about stories from when we were children.
And when I say I want to talk, what I mean is I want someone to listen.
I have these thoughts in my head that stay stagnant.
Poor things never see the light of day.
Only when I remember
to jot them down on paper
to reference back to later.
Fantasizing about being able to express these things
without judgment or weird looks
that make me regret even saying them.
To be loved, they say, is to be understood,
and I think I’m misunderstood a lot.
So can someone please explain to me the complexities of those words
before I run from a possible reality
I’m not ready to face?
As the day turns in to rest,
A reflection on the day.
We took control,
We made amends,
And said as much as we could say.
Now the night creeps up on us –
Silence seeping in.
A deep breath,
A restful mind,
A sense of peace emerges within.
I want to be writing all the time.
No sleep, no work,
Just line by line.
Letting the words come and go,
Jotting them down,
Letting them flow.
It’s a super power and mine is well known;
Being able to compile words
And making them my own.
It’s truly a blessing to be able to express
An idea, a moment,
Thoughts not put to rest.
There’s so many ways to describe
A cloud of thoughts
Built up inside.
A waterfall of aimless prose,
A metaphor or two,
Something more composed.
The creativity is never bleak.
When I write these words,
I’m at my peak.
So, to be able to share my work with you,
Is something I cherish
And will always do.
