Tag: movies

War of the Worlds (2025) Was Bad

…Pray for H.G Wells, who is currently rolling in his grave…

CAUTION: SPOILERS

I don’t even have a funny title. It was just bad. How can I not write about what is somehow collectively the worst movie anyone has ever seen? With its debut receiving a whopping 0% on Rotten Tomatoes, this movie deserves to be roasted.

If you’re looking for a movie to WOW you with how drastic the tables turn from a decent concept to an awful, immature, corny wannabe average-people-can-be-heros-too-type of deal, the new War of the Worlds is for you, baby.

Last week, Joe and I were browsing movies and, unfortunately, stumbled upon the new War of the Worlds starring Ice Cube of all people. Neither of us had heard anything about it. We didn’t even know anyone was making a new War of the Worlds movie. To be completely honest though, there never needs to be a recreation because the originals *actually* based on the H.G Wells novel are iconic themselves.

(Fun Fact: In 1938, there was a radio host, Orson Welles, who aired a radio adaptation of the H.G Wells novel and some listeners that tuned in late to the broadcast freaked tf out. People were calling authorities and leaving their homes thinking that we were actually under attack. I have harbored that info for a very long time and I think it’s cool and wanted to share.)

ANYWHO –

I was pretty excited to watch this, being that the War of the Worlds (2005, directed by Steven Spielberg) is one of my top 5 favorite movies ever. I felt that the perspective of the invasion from a DHS officer was intriguing. Utilizing drones, street cameras, and personal devices was unique and I always love a movie that films from different perspectives (peep my reviews about Skinamirink and Adolescence). But goodness gracious me did they lose the plot and lose it fast.

Let me break it down a bit –

Basically, a DHS officer who constantly spies on his kids using government technology is, you guessed it, spying on his kids (assuming that’s an intentional “the government is spying on you” subliminal message), while simultaneously answering calls from his co-workers. Meteors eventually fall out of the sky all around the world and Ice Cube is in a constant back and forth between calling his son, daughter, and co-workers trying to figure out what’s going on and if everyone is safe. It’s all kind of annoying.

I will say though, there were some cool moments where he hacked into cameras and other devices, even a Tesla, in order to get everyone into safe spaces away from the chaos. That is my final positive opinion of this movie.

(Another Fun Fact: Do you know this God awful movie’s Wikipedia page says it’s based on H.G Wells’ novel? IS THE INSPIRATION FROM THE NOVEL IN THE ROOM WITH US? Because I fear it was nowhere near the director or screenwriter when creating this disastrous movie. Pray for H.G Wells, who is currently rolling in his grave.)

We also get some details about someone called “The Disruptor”, who is an anonymous creator uploading YouTube videos about the government hiding things from the public (don’t remember that in the H.G Wells novel). Turns out The Disruptor is Ice Cube’s son and it’s supposed to be a “gotcha” moment for our MC. I guessed it was his son earlier in the movie based on the dynamic between the father and son in their conversations. It wasn’t very “gotcha” .. The only real use of this character was to tie into the abysmal underlying reason why the aliens have come to Earth.. and it’s.. well..

dumb.

The downfall is the twist of the invasion being at the fault of a singular government official. I don’t remember exactly what the explanation was and I don’t care that much to look it up, but I think it had something to do with the amount of energy something was giving off that appeared to be a threat from the aliens P.O.V. I think.

But brother. It’s War of the Worlds. The entire premise of the original movies (and the book) is the fear factor of Why Earth? Why us? Why now? What do they want? And for the plot to be defaulted to “humans are the real enemy” and “humans are greedy” is such nauseating, regurgitated bullshit. Literally from this moment, the movie takes such a sharp decline, it’s actually disorienting.

Joe and I kept questioning how we were bamboozled into watching this mockery of an iconic original classic. “This is actually so bad.” “How did we even get here?” We were completely blindsided by the hard left turn into oblivion and were so confused as to why the story-line turned into a comically bad wannabe superhero movie.

There’s just no excuse. It was terrible.

I’m trying to wrap this up, and I literally just said out loud, “I don’t even remember how it ended… Oh, God. I do. It’s awful.” While running my hands over my face. (Yes, I had to include this.)

Eventually, Ice Cube, his son, his daughter, his daughters boyfriend, and friend from NASA all work together and use an Amazon delivery drone to save the day. Barf.

THAT WAS THE OTHER THING. The unlimited Amazon plugs were so unreal. His daughter’s boyfriend was a delivery driver and the way they kept plugging Uncle Jeff’s biz was so obnoxious. And yes, this movie is on prime.

It’s like I want to write more about this, but also I honestly cannot think of anything else to touch on that isn’t going to be me just complaining of how horrendous this movie is.

Let’s just do it this way..

Overall:

  • The dialogue is forced and cliche.
  • The acting is sub-par and just awful.
  • A lot of unnecessary pacing to fill up time.
  • The big reveal was disappointing and lazy.
  • The Amazon plugs were ridiculous.
  • The only decent part was that it was a unique perspective, but this was ruined by the rest of the movie. There’s just no way to overlook everything else.
  • This is nowhere near the premise of the novel and I have zero clue how they can say this movie was based on it.

I wouldn’t be surprised if we get invaded because of how terrible this film is just so the aliens can prove a point.

God bless if you want to see what the fuss is about, but honestly you’re better off doing literally ANYTHING ELSE with your life than sitting for 91 minutes through this travesty of a film.

I said what I said.
– Meg

Green Room Notes

  • I feel like I want to write something but I’m just taking it in – scenery is beautfiul though, even the corn fields
  • shoutout to all the cat photos
  • okay, the “we’re gonna drink” and skipping straight to the next morning. It’s giving like disoriented.
  • also love how they made sure there’s lush greenery in all the windows (TO MISREPRESENT WHAT THIS MOVIE WAS 0 POST-MOVIE NOTE)
  • “when you make it all virtual, you lose. you gotta just be there.”
  • MC guy (who fell asleep first) pat? Idk his character is interesting. i wonder if he’s going to be the one who either gets them killed or betrays them – jk he gets them into shit
  • oh no the mohawk guy is suspect
  • i really like the storyline of it being from an up and coming band and stuff. definitely different
  • the lead singer is such a shit head
  • the slo mo mosh is pretty tight
  • SO WAIT THE DARK HAIR GIRL THAT TOOK THE MONEY IN THE CROWD THAT PAT SAW, SHE WAS EMILY AND THE ONE WHO ENDED UP DEAD. WILD (POST-MOVIE NOTE)
  • i’m like trying to process how things are going to end up sideways
  • spoke too soon – immediate anxiety – the whole process of grabbing the phone and not letting them leave
  • i don’t like how the guy who took the phone and who’s like the mediator (Gabe), seems like trustworthy?
  • okay hold on i’m spiraling. THEY’RE COVERING UP THE GIRL DEAD WITH THAT KID STABBING HIS BROTHER HELLLLLLO
  • ugh fuck the guy bringing up the set
  • what was the name of your second to last song? fuckin hard man, thats the one i did her to. DAWG
  • okay this was not what i was expecting. fuck yeah they got that big guy down.
  • “we’ll do it here stage it up the road”
  • ju jitsu bro i’m living
  • “This is a fire hazard” – that’s going to come in handy (it didn’t)
  • This is so interesting, they have like a little crime ring and shit going on
  • AH they staged the blackout to get everyone out
  • oh my good god they have a whole squad going in there to clean up their mess
  • ugh it’s like I feel like they’re going to be smart about this but it’s also a horror movie
  • is there not a window above the flag hanging..? (twas not)
  • I hate that the girl didn’t fucking check to see if there were more people before he opened the door? bruh
  • This made me think blondie (amber) was in on it then she cut him wide open and it was fire
  • oh my god its a drug house. heroin
  • MAN his arm is so butchered
  • paired up with ex marines during paintball is coming in handy, so fuckin real
  • it’s like they’re just real people
  • them naming their last band
  • THEM LEAVING FUUUUUCK IM SKURD
  • i think blondie is in on it still
  • DOGS BRO
  • the red jacket guy is gonna help them oh shit oh shit hell yeah
  • the girl that died was HIS GIRLLLLLLL
  • “he and emily”, their bags were packed, they were gonna leave!!!!!!!!
  • revenge time, red jacket guy (daniel)
  • “wow a conspiracy” “no, just a cluster fuck”
  • oop bye daniel, god damn.
  • I honestly do love when they get the viewers hopes up and then smash em immediately
  • I felt nothing when Sam died tbh
  • Patrick Stewart (Darcy) in a horror film is killing me
  • “they knew real war, they played real war”
  • initiated Gabe into red laces, seems like he doesn’t want it
  • Hm Gabe following them in is SUS.
  • GABE IS TOTALLY HELPING THEM … maybe not
  • where is amber
  • AMBER IN THE COUCH HAHAHAHHAHAHA YESSSSSSS
  • bruh wtf is gabe doing lmfao i can’t tell if he’s helping
  • AMBER HELP HIMMMMMMM
  • okay fine she was smooth with it
  • LOL GABE, SIR, standing in the door way
  • “i wanna go to jail” interesting
  • it’s too quiet and sus. I think Pat is gonna die.
  • long live doggo!
  • so they’re going to a residence?
  • OH THE VAN
  • nice detail, the drawing and doodles from the beginning
  • I’ll shoot you either way if you don’t hand me one lol
  • IDK WHY THEY DON’T JUST SHOOT THESE GOONS OH MY GOD
  • “it’s funny you were so scary at night”
  • wow finally they shot them. idk what they were waiting for truthfully
  • Let’s see what Gabe is up to now.
  • the flashes of that one metal head and the mohawk guy
  • the dog just walking buy them and them trying to shoot. Wow
  • oh my god the dog laying on the owner
  • I know my stranded island band, tell someone who gives a shit
  • that kind of breaks my heart bc his friends would have been so psyched to finally hear it

Sinister Notes

  • the intro then panning to the broken tree in the back yard is awesome
    the names of the tapes are so clever lol
  • ethan watching the films with a notepad is me right now
  • the sound of the ropes when he goes outside to look at the tree – nice touch
  • the montage of him putting the film in is cool
  • the sounds in the second film – ick – music/sounds from films are uncomfortable, eerie,
  • him going to take a drink and the glass is empty while watching the second film
  • ethan trying to figure out how to edit the film back together, also cool
  • that tree keeps coming into frame is cool
  • using the phone flashlight is pretty sick, you can tell they really used that too bc it’s not lighting up anything lol
  • the cop is such a great supporting character – “snakes don’t have feet” / the fan girling is so comical
  • when he takes the screenshot of the face and stands in front of it – it’s like a stand off
  • the face moving in the still on the computer – iconic
  • when he holds the screenshot up to the window and pulls it down to see the face outside
  • scorpion, snake, doggo – manifestations, yes
  • the way they introduce the kid’s spirits is pretty cool, and how their movements are making actual noise in the house and making him move around
  • the light work when they’re fighting in the bedroom, him sitting in the shadow and moving in and out of the light, the wife mostly in the light…and then they switch places with her in the shadow
  • “your kids are your legacy” – the twist of the kids being the killers and their own families legacies bc they were never found
  • the scene of him waking up, going into the attic, the kids and the thing up there, spooky but wish it was creepier
  • ugh the hope of them actually leaving and the movie ending there.
  • knowing what was going to happen, sick to my stomach dawg
  • the images gateways – ethan’s screenshots of the stuff
  • the darkness behind him at the desk…..foreshadowing of what loooms
  • “the problem is that you moved” … “you not only sped up his timeline, you put yourself in it”
  • the goosebumps of stephanie swinging on the parent’s leg….
  • the glowy green stuff in the coffee was a bit corny
  • the twist that they would have been safe at the previous home, maybe just a little sage + protection magick

Blair Witch Notes

SCENES:

  • the little kid freaking out when the mom is telling a story about the witch is a nice touch – UNSCRIPTED
  • guy took 2 kids down to basement, 1 faces the corner while the other one is killed – HARDCORE FORESHADOWING
  • all the ‘interviews’ seem so authentic and like real people retelling stories
  • when you really pay attention to the stories and back story of the blair witch, it’s actually incredibly unsettling and i found myself getting super uneasy and uncomfortable
  • why doesn’t heather tell mike about what she found
  • heather screaming for mike to wait kills me man, paired with the overlayed footage
  • brother. that very last scene of mike standing in the corner and her screaming at him and the camera dropping.
  • i cannot believe how impactful that scene STILL is. literally almost brought tears to my eyes.

FILMING:

  • the overlaying of audio and mismatched video is fun and a nice touch
  • the iconic scene of heathers face right in the camera. oh man. so impactful, such great fucking acting brother AND her looking off to the side while she’s filming, bruh
  • actors, phenomenal. concept, phenomenal. filming, phenomenal. casting, phenomenal.

ACTORS:

  • the innocence of Heather IN THE BEGINNING
  • the panic that Mikey emits is anxiety inducing; you actually feed off Mikey’s panic a bit, he seems like the only one that’s understanding the actual serevity of being so lost in the woods, aside from those woods being incredibly haunted
  • OOF that first scream for Josh from Heather is heartwrenching
  • you can see the defeat, shame, agony grow on each of their faces throughout the entire film – WHICH IS WILD BC THIS IS THEIR TRUE DETERIORATION OF SANITY

QUOTES:(Even better bc they’re unscripted)

  • “we’ll all look back on this and laugh heardily” – saying from a real thought regarding filming?
  • “we light fires, they know” – mikey – the directors? or what’s in the woods?
  • “what the fuck is that!?” to something out of frame!!!!!
  • “i can see why you like this video camera so much. it’s not reality” – GET WHOLE QUOTE OF THIS
  • “tell me where you are Josh” from mike. HEARTWRENCHING
  • the simplicity of her saying “my hair is caught” mid-panic attack, crying, after she found the stuff- OOF, felt that shit
  • “it was my project, and I insisted. I insisted on everything.” / “hungry and cold and hunted” / “i’m scared to close my eyes, i’m scared to open them”
  • “i hear him downstairs” – also iconic
  • “that was a very uncomfortable movie. very uncomfortable.” – my mom

Green Room is Metal AF

“… I’m talking machetes, dogs, chainsaws… there was no holding back…”

Caution: Spoilers

What better way to hop back into reviews than with some suspenseful gory horror? Last week while I was painting, I was chatting with a horror movie king, and he recommended Green Room. Quote on quote, “YOU NEED TO WATCH THAT ONE.” I had to watch it when I could pay attention, so I kept it in the back of my head for a week and here we are. I chose to not watch the trailer or even read the summary before I hit “Start Now”. It was quite the choice, but I’m glad I went into it blind. It made it more insane.

Green Room follows an up and coming band trying to book some gigs to get their name out there. Though, I can’t recall if the name of the band was even given. It’s almost like the creators didn’t want us to be too invested in their story, as opposed to the movie’s story line. (Unless I completely forgot or didn’t hear the name, of course.) There’s 4 members: Pat, Sam, Reece, and Tiger. It’s interesting because the first couple of scenes are a bit disorienting and appear to be cut short. I was kind of confused at first, but truly it ended up feeling like they just cut out less important scenes to make sure they included all the good stuff later on.

The first show they do sucks because all of the bands pulled out and they’re the only ones performing. A no-name band that no one really knows, not many people are going to show up. The group is pissed because they were banking on getting paid from the event, and they only ended up getting $6 each. The guy that hooked them up with the gig tries to make it up to them by recommending his cousin Daniel’s venue that has a pretty decent line up the next day. They’re strapped for cash, so they take him up on the offer.

Now, the guy that recommended his cousin’s place warns them that this particular venue attracts and is owned by… well… white supremacists, and to try not to piss these people off. They note it, although not taking him too seriously, and head out.

They drive out to the venue, meet Daniel and another guy, Gabe, who gets them all set up and ready for their set. They go into the dressing room and there’s a whole bunch of things you’d imagine a venue that loves white supremacists would have. Tiger, the lead singer, decides their first song is going to be a nice ‘fuck you’ to the bigots, but remember, they need their money. They’re not trying to get kicked out by being too combative. They end up playing through their set and during it, there’s a really dope, slow-mo montage of everyone moshing. It’s pretty sick. Right before this montage, there’s a brief moment where Pat notices a girl with dark hair taking money from people in the crowd. She’s super pretty, but almost seems out of place and a tad suspicious. As she moves out of frame, we get a glimpse of Gabe in the background, with a somber look on his face. I actually didn’t note this scene in my notes while I was watching, but everything came flooding back once I began writing about the movie from the beginning.

The band finishes their set, all their things are outside in the hallway, and they’re getting ready to get paid and leave. Sam realizes she left her phone charging on the counter in the dressing room. Pat says, “Don’t worry, I’ll get it,” and walks into the room. He unplugs her phone from the wall, turns around and is frozen in place trying to process what he just walked into.

That pretty dark haired girl? On the floor with a knife in her head. He looks to his right to see a blonde girl hysterical and 2 huge guys (who are part of the venue staff) staring back at him. Everyone is still until they aren’t, and this scene had me in a choke hold. Everything happens so fast. The 2 guys lunge at Pat trying to grab him and his phone. As this is happening, Pat dials 911 and actually gets through! He makes it out of the room and is frantically trying to explain, while slipping through the fingers of the men, that there’s been a stabbing and someone is dead. The rest of the band immediately jumps into action, trying to grab him and pull him through, and trying to move past the other 2 dudes in the hallway. But, they’re trapped. The largest guy that was originally escorting them out of the venue peeks into the room and says something along the lines of, “I told you to keep this door locked.” Gabe seems to realize what’s happened, takes Pat’s phone and makes his way out of the hallway. He says going to take care of it and everyone just has to ‘hang tight’. The band is told to wait there, guarded by the very men that might have just killed this girl.

Now, I know I said spoilers, but I can only include so many details… I’m leaving a lot out… mostly because this blog post would end up being like 10,000 words long. It’s better to see and experience the movie for yourself so you can clock all of the little details that make this movie so incredibly anxiety inducing and sick (in a good way). Long story short, they end up barricading themselves in the dressing room, quickly get acquainted with Amber, the dead girl’s friend, and begin to brainstorm how they’re going to get out of there alive.

We’re soon introduced to Darcy, who’s played by Patrick Stewart of all people. The absolute confusion when I first realized it was him was comical. I don’t think I had ever seen him in a horror movie before this one. Have any of you?? Anyway…

Darcy is no bullshit. He’s the owner and what he says goes. He makes it very clear that they’re not leaving without going through him and his goon squad. When I tell you, they are legitimately like a S.W.A.T team swarming the venue leaving no means of escape. To make matters worse, Darcy says they can use anything but guns (at first). I’m talking machetes, dogs, chainsaws… there was no holding back. They wanted zero witnesses to what happened.

There’s a quick scene before they make their first attempt to leave the room where Pat, who has lost a shit ton of blood after getting his arm butchered (agonizingly refraining from going into detail about this), where he tries to tell a story of when him and the other boys went paint balling. He explains that this situation feels similar to that day because they were paired up with ex-marines who were tactical, using hand signals, and essentially, were playing like they were really on the battlefield. I don’t know what it was about this scene, but it resonated. Like, these are just chill people who were at the wrong place at the wrong time and are now fighting for their lives. There’s a quote from Pat a little later in the movie where he references this paint ball game again and says, “They knew real war, they played real war,” and I have to admit, this was probably the best way to describe the power plays of Darcy’s men vs. the band and Amber.

Our poor 5 captives try their best to escape and take whatever they can from the dressing room to fight back, and, well… let’s just say only 3 of them return to the room. As a little hint to what happens, I don’t think I’ve seen anything as brutal as a dog tearing someone’s throat out. (Okay, maybe that one scene from the first Terrifier movie, IYKYK, but this doggo scene was pretty gnarly.)

There are some cool, quite surface level, but cool backstories that come into play that add some insight as to how and why the girl was killed and why the people that run the venue are so brutal. I kind of wish we had a weeee bit more backstory dialogue, but truthfully, the way the movie played out, I’m not mad about it.

Now, a character that had piqued my interest waaaay more was Gabe. He was the one that helped the band prepare for their set, the guy that was on the scene when they found the dead girl in the dressing room, and who informed Darcy of the situation. Essentially, Darcy’s right hand. Throughout the entire movie, even from the moment he took all of their phones when shit first went down, I couldn’t tell if this dude was going to end up helping them in some way. For reasons like the scene where we see him in the background watching the girl that was about to be murdered – his face kind of seemed to not be completely invested or committed to whatever Darcy had brewing. It was just a vibe.

In about the last 20 minutes or so of the movie, they show Gabe entering the venue with 2 guys who were expected to finish off our last 2 survivors, while he walked around cleaning up some of the mess from all of the previous brutalities. My notes were so back and forth. Every few bullet points I had, “Hm, Gabe is sus,” then a few down, I’d write, “OMG he’s totally helping them!”, then, “hm..maybe not.” This guy seriously confused me the most. I feel like he was too terrified to stand up to Darcy, but given the opportunity, without Darcy’s knowledge, would have helped them in some capacity…

In one of the final moments of the movie, there is, what I consider, an iconic quote from one of our survivors when confronting Darcy. They say, “It’s funny. You were so scary at night.” and proceeds to fuck him up. Satisfying is an understatement, especially since it takes our survivors a little too much time to start ripping through the remaining bad dudes. Oh, and remember the doggo scene I mentioned earlier? Well, the very last scene of the movie, our survivors are sitting on the ground, in disbelief that they’re alive. In the distance, you hear what sounds like chains jingling. It’s the dog. They weakly raise their guns while the dog trots right past them, not even acknowledging the empty clicks of them trying to shoot it point blank.

Literally up until the last scene of the movie, they make references to small details or talking points from earlier scenes in the movie. I always love catching things like that because sometimes you’ll forget a funny moment or smaller detail of something from the beginning, and when they refer back, it’s like a “Oh shit, nice!” moment. I really love when screenwriters come full circle with things like that.

Listen, I know this was a long one, and I really didn’t include TOO many spoilers or go in depth too much, but honestly if I did, this would be 10x as long and you wouldn’t finish reading it anyway. There was SO much that happened in those 90 minutes, it would have taken forever to go through everything scene by scene like I usually do. If you’re that curious, go watch the damn movie 😝 It’s only about 90 minutes, and honestly it doesn’t even feel that long because of the constant state of anxiety from the moment they find the dead girl. It’s literally 100mph until the very end. Everything happens so fast and there’s so much going on that it’d be difficult to effectively explain every single brutal scene in this one post.

It’s a solid 9/10 in my humble opinion. Shout out to Joey for the rec! 😊

I’m going to be posting more often, so follow @bloomingwithenergy on IG and make sure you’re subscribed to get my new posts and other updates sent directly to your email!

Xox ♡

Terrifier… is Terrifying

“…Aside from his outright absolute brutality, his mannerisms and demeanor make him such an unconventional character…”

CAUTION: SPOILERS

(I had no idea what I was in for with this movie…)

SURPRISE! I watched Terrifier, and brethren, I was not mentally or emotionally prepared whatsoever. I had been wanting to watch this movie for some time, and since Terrifier 3 came out on a day I happened to be home and wasn’t feeling well, I thought, “Perfect! I’ll add the first one to my Spooktober list and surprise the gang.”

If you don’t know, Terrifier is a slasher with our main man being Art the Clown. This guy dresses up in a black and white clown outfit, and is essentially a mime. He doesn’t utter a sound throughout the entire movie, which just adds to his sadistic nature. And… well… that’s it. We don’t get any backstory in Terrifier, but I do know that there’s a prequel called All Hallow’s Eve that adds a little bit of insight to who the hell Art is. But, yeah… no one is safe from this dude, and even when you think there might be some humanness to him, you are quickly proven wrong.

I was quite literally not ready for what transpired in that ~90 minutes of pure chaos. Just the opening scene itself! From the first 5 minutes until about halfway through this movie, you’re on the edge of your seat wondering where the fuck these directors heads were at making this and are they like… mentally sane? And I say “until halfway through the movie” because there is a bit of a lull where things go from 100 to 0 pretty drastically. I feel like that might have been on purpose to give the audience some time to breathe in-between the absolute madness that occurs.

There’s a scene in a pizzeria where Tara and Dawn (our mc girlies) are trying to sober up before they drive home. Art, who has already been seen by the girls, sits down at a table across from them. Tara and Art have the best stare-down, tension building moment. When they lock eyes, Art begins to make faces at her, seemingly trying to get a reaction, but Tara is stone cold. One of the workers at the pizzeria asks Art to order something or GTFO. There’s a bit of a struggle and Art leaves.

Blink and you miss it, but at the pizzeria there’s a jack-o-lantern on top of the glass case where they put the pies. Of course, as you might have guessed, these dudes have no chance of making through the rest of this movie. BUT when one of the guys comes out from the backroom looking for his co-worker, he’s met with Art, covered in blood with a big ole knife in hand. As he’s being attacked we get a glimpse of the missing co-workers head on the glass case, which replaced the jack-o-lantern, lit up and all. If you’re not completely sickened by the gore and slashing that occurs, it’s actually pretty hysterical.

After the pizza shop interaction, I literally wrote in my notes, “I really think I found my new favorite horror movie.” What that says about me, I dunno. We’re a judgement-free zone here, okay? The reason why I like this movie so much is because everything happens so quickly and there’s no time to process what’s going on. It’s almost as if the directors were trying to get the audience in a real Fight or Flight of what they’d do in each situation. It’s so wild to experience.

I’m not going to go too much into detail about some of the scenes because you need the unawareness going into this movie if you haven’t seen it. I refuse to spoil the shock factor!!!

Now, let me talk about Art the Clown as a character. Aside from his outright absolute brutality, his mannerisms and demeanor make him such an unconventional character. Like honestly, there’s some shocking ways that Jason Voorhees, Michael Meyers and Freddy Kruger kill their victims, but nothing compares to Art’s style and savagery.

The acting by David Howard Thornton is impeccable. The way in which he utilizes his entire body to express his emotions is beyond impressive. When he’s reacting to certain things that take place, his expressions are so over-the-top that it’s relatively easy for the viewer to guess what he would be saying if he could speak. (I assume there’s a reason he can’t… unless it’s a voluntary attribute that Art takes upon himself to implement… which would make his character even more insane than he already is.)

He’s brutal, man. When he’s attacking people, he’s making sure he’s getting them good. I also feel like he plays up to each victim’s personality, almost like he’s mocking them. Like with Tara, since the pizzeria incident, the antagonistic style of his attacks and torture mimicked the way he was egging her on sitting at the table with his facial expressions. There’s another character, who is referred to as the “Cat Lady” according to casting, who is clearly homeless and mentally ill. She has a doll that she thinks is her daughter and Art takes advantage of her motherly instinct after she asks him, “Is there kindness in you?” And I swear, you start to think for a second that she possibly makes some type of impact with how she asks him that question. Unfortunately, no one is safe in this movie. Literally every single person that enters the chat is not safe in any capacity.

Another thing that really freaked me out was that, even when Art was stabbed and beaten by some of our brave characters, he doesn’t utter a peep, dude. Like no noise at all. Then will shoot the camera a side-eye or an eye-roll breaking that third wall and you’re like… “Are you kidding..?” Then he does some shit like popping into the room on a mini bicycle to chase one of the girls. Or when he pulls out one of those oversized clown horns to tease one of the victims. He even gives the finger to a girl that bamboozles him in the midst of them duking it out. Nothing is serious to this guy and it makes it ever so slightly easier to watch, but man, the barbarism is enough to really fuck you up.

To be completely honest, though, I really dig Art the Clown as a horror icon, and, dare I say, he’s my favorite. If you’ve seen the movie, you absolutely know what I mean. He’s a goof and he’s actually pretty funny, just in really fucked up ways. Some of the scenes are so detailed and so raw, and then we have Art sprinkling in humor, like he’s playing up the sadistic clown stereotype. He’s truly the best at it.

I will say, about 3 quarters of the way through, I was feeling kind of exhausted, like the flip flopping between absolutely wild slasher scenes and unexpected comedy. It’s like, not only does Art play with the emotions of his victims, but he plays with the audience’s emotions as well. I couldn’t tell how on edge I was during the entire movie until the end credits came on and I involuntarily breathed a sigh of RELIEF. The ruthlessness of how he kills people is just so profound, it makes you physically, verbally and emotionally react to what’s happening. I felt like I was traumatized for a couple days after the fact.

I’d assume Art is something like Michael Meyers or Jason because of the sequels, Terrifier 2 and Terrifier 3. This guy just keeps coming back. Although, truthfully, I think I’d stand more of a chance against Michael or Jason than Art. If you found yourself in one of the Terrifier movies, there’s little to no hope for you, bestie. Sorry!

You’re probably wondering if I’m planning on seeing the sequels… and absolutely I am! I’m spacing them out though. I haven’t decided if I’ll be writing reviews for those yet, but make sure you’re subscribed so you’ll be the first to know if I do!

Let me know in the comments or on the socials if you’ve seen Terrifier, and if you agree with my thoughts about Art the Clown. That’s all I have for this one.

Stay tuned for my next Spooktober horror review!

Xox

Sinister – An Eerie All-Time Favorite

“…The face is almost antagonistic, challenging the author to not only figure out what’s going on here, but emanates, “Are you sure you want to do this?”…”

CAUTION: SPOILERS

[I will say that nothing beats the first time watching this. I kind of wish I hadn’t seen it before so that this review would be a bit more emotionally charged, but it is what it is.]

The opening title screen is a doozy. If you know, you know. If you don’t, stop right here, go watch the movie and come back.

We’re met with a family of four moving into their new home. The father, Ellison, is an author whose best-seller is a true crime story that actually helped solve an unsolved murder case. In the kitchen, Ellison is chatting with his wife who makes him promise that they didn’t “just move into a house where a family was murdered.” Well… with the context of the opening title scene and a slow panning of the camera, we realize that this writer has indeed moved his family into a house where the previous family had been murdered. Technically, he wasn’t breaking any promises, though, because they were killed in the backyard. (Please let me know if you get that reference.)

Rather quickly, Ellison finds a box in the attic with an old-school projector and film rolls. There are 5 tapes that are labeled: “Pool Party ’66,” “BBQ ’79,” “Lawn Work ’86,” “Sleepy Time ’98” and “Family Hanging Out ’11”. Naturally, his curiosity gets the best of him and he brings them to his office to watch with whiskey in hand.

I have to say, I did giggle a bit when he first sits down with his notepad and beverage. I was like… “Oh my god, that’s me right now taking notes.”

The first video he watches is “Family Hanging Out ’11”, which takes place at the home they’ve just moved into. It shows the family playing in the backyard, seemingly unaware that they’re being filmed. Suddenly, the film cuts to 4 of the family members standing under a large branch, their heads covered, hands tied behind their backs and ropes around their necks. We switch over to Ellison, who went from casually sipping, relaxing in his chair to sitting straight up, eyes widened and in utter shock and disbelief of what he’s about to witness. An adjacent branch, which starts to break, has the ropes attached to it…meaning that once that branch begins to fall, the leverage would pull the ropes up. I’m sure you can assume the outcome. Then, the film ends.

Ellison immediately leaves his office and heads to the backyard where the tree with the broken limb stands towering over him. As he looks up, we’re at the perspective of looking down from the limb where the family’s lives ended. If you don’t pay attention you’ll miss it, but amongst the sound of the wind, you can hear what sounds like ropes rubbing against the bark, as if the family was still hanging there. This was such a subtle detail, yet a masterful one.

We won’t go through each tape, but Ellison does go through and watch each one. He realizes that there’s one child missing from each family’s tape. Instinctively, he grabs his phone and dials 911. The operator answers, only to get no response. He stops, glances over at his previous best-seller and hangs up the phone. At this point, he’s convinced he’s just found his big break for his next true crime novel.

There are some cool moments while he’s watching the other films. They include a dope montage of him loading up the projector with film and setting everything up. However, they totally used the same montage later in the movie. The sounds and music paired with each film differ, but, of course, they’re creepy as hell. Not only are the films themselves already gut-wrenching, but the addition of the odd music and weird sounds make it all the more uncomfortable.

There comes a point when Ellison notices that there’s a face that appears in each film. He’s able to transfer stills onto his computer, prints them and hangs them on his cork board. The first time he glares at one of the images, it’s like a standoff. The face is almost antagonistic, challenging the author to not only figure out what’s going on here, but emanates, “Are you sure you want to do this?” It’s ultimately an incredibly powerful scene. Ellison gets in contact with an occult professor, sends him these images and we learn that this mysterious face could be an ancient demonic entity that preys on children.

The missing children are introduced in a pretty unique way. Ellison can’t see them, but as a viewer, you’re able to see them zooming around the house in slow-motion while Ellison is moving at regular speed. The kids’ movements coincide with noises around the house that grab his attention, forcing him to move from one room to the other. They’re messing with him, trying to confuse him and using his curiosity against him.

The last night at their new home, Ellison gets drawn back up to the attic when he hears some thumps in the night. When he makes his way through the hatch, he’s met with the children sitting on the floor in front of the entity, and they all slowly turn to look at him. It’s just as anticlimactic as it sounds, honestly. This scene was a bit underwhelming compared to how the rest of the film was shot. I’m not sure if that’s because I’ve seen it before, but I wasn’t overly fond of how it was executed.

After this, Ellison wakes up his whole family and says they need to leave. Then, they end up cutting to the family moving back into their old house. Everyone’s happy, the lighting of the film is brighter and for the first time in a horror movie, you might be thinking, “Oh hell yeah, they actually left before shit got too real.”

Wrong-o.

Ellison gets a call from the professor who explains this entity’s goal is to receive a sacrifice from its worshipers in order to “save” them. As the camera cuts back, we see Ellison sitting alone at his desk with the deepest darkness looming behind him, as if to visibly display his impending doom. He gets a phone call from Officer So-And-So, who he’s been sending to voicemail all night. As he answers the phone, he takes his coffee that his daughter brought to him before she went to bed. The officer explains that he did his own research about the filmed murders. He tells Ellison, “The problem is that you moved… You not only sped up his timeline, you put yourself in it.”

Turns out that each family that died had lived in the preceding murdered family’s home. Once the family moved, they were murdered. Does that make sense? So, because Ellison moved his family out of the home he thought was haunted, he now put his family in this murderous timeline. When he hears this, he looks down at his mug to find a glowing green liquid swirling around in his coffee. He drops his phone, then the mug and hits the floor.

I remember being absolutely floored (no pun intended) when they explained that twist. Anyone would think that if you’re in a potentially haunted house and seeing little ghost children that moving out is the best option. Apparently not! That’s the point of the kids harassing Ellison in the first place. They spooked him to get them to move so the entity’s timeline could persist. But how wild of a twist is that!? They would have survived had they stayed at the previous home! Who knows, maybe a little sage could have made the kids eff off.

Sadly, as you might have already assumed, the author and his family become victims themselves, adding to the collection of tapes. I really didn’t divulge TOO much about this movie because the first-time watch is unparalleled. If you haven’t seen this movie, PLEASE do yourself a favor and watch it ASAP. You will not be disappointed.

I hope you enjoyed my thoughts on Sinister! I encourage you to watch this movie and share your reactions in the comments. October is only halfway over – plenty of time for some well-deserved spooks!

Stay tuned for my next review…it’s pretty terrifying.

The Blair Witch Project – A True Horror Classic

…It’s the way in which they verbalize their dread and incredible anxiety that shakes you as a viewer…

Caution: Spoilers

I mean, honestly, if you’re a horror fan and haven’t seen this movie already, you’re seriously missing out.

The Blair Witch Project is a found footage style horror film that follows 3 college students filming a documentary about the legend of the Blair Witch. We’re introduced to Heather, who rallies up Josh and Mike to help her produce a film with the intention of finding answers for the strange happenings revolving around the Black Hills forest.

During the first 10 minutes or so, you’re getting used to the style of filming. The cameras are all over the place, the actors seem to talk over each other a lot, but somehow this seems to draw the viewer in more. I found myself relating to this type of scenario – in college working on a group project with a couple classmates that don’t really seem all too interested in the actual content itself.

Their plan was a simple one – find some cool, scenic shots, narrate some stories, set up camp for a night and wrap up the film. They get some nice b-roll shots, Heather talks about some of the lore and they finally set up camp. In the morning they venture off on a “shortcut” that Heather believes will take them directly back to their car. I’m sure you could guess that this “shortcut” was a mistake.

So far, there really isn’t anything significantly scary that’s happened yet. However, once they begin to realize they might be lost, you can feel the anxiety and panic emanating from Mike as he begins to get frustrated with Heather and starts to yell for help. His emotions feel real, and I explain why that is at the end of this review. So, keep reading!

This movie is pretty disorienting, so forgive me if my timeline is incorrect. I’m pretty sure the second night is when shit gets real. Heather, Josh and Mike are all sleeping in their tent when they’re woken up by noises that sound like walking. All of a sudden their tent begins to shake and voices can be heard outside. The 3 students sprint out of the tent into the darkness of the woods. As they’re all trying to guide each other with screams and the lights from their cameras, you hear Heather yell, “What the fuck is that!?” about something that’s completely out of frame.

Remember, this is a found footage film. As they’re running, you’re only getting glimpses of trees, brush and their legs as they’re trying to get distance from whatever was near their tent. So when Heather sees something off camera, your imagination begins to run wild as to what she caught sight of.

The next day during their venture, Heather goes to grab the map they’d been using as a guide and realizes it’s gone. The boys, that are now a bit delirious, begin laughing and joking about how lost they are and poking fun at Heather for losing the map. Then, as if snapping them all back into reality, Mike ends up blurting out that he kicked the map into the stream because “it wasn’t helping anyway.” This sends Heather and Josh into a full blown spiral, verbally and physically attacking Mike for doing something so selfish and stupid. The way that their moods and demeanor change so abruptly is chilling. From lighthearted giddiness to full blown emotional breakdown…it’s pretty wild.

Following this, I believe we cut straight to the next morning where Heather wakes up and emerges from the tent only to realize that Josh is missing. She calls for him a few times to see if he responds and when he doesn’t, she wakes Mike up. Here is where the genuine emotion truly gets a rise out of the viewer.

The first blood-curdling scream of the film is Heather calling for Josh. The pure fear and emotion coming from the single syllable of his name genuinely shocks you to your core. I’m telling you, once you hear how she screams for him, it’ll be seared into your memory. Mike joins in on calling out for Josh, and in pure terror, he yells, “Tell me where you are, Josh!” It’s the way in which they verbalize their dread and incredible anxiety that shakes you as a viewer. You hear the painful realization of how dire this situation truly is for them.

After calling out for Josh for hours, Mike finds one lone cigarette at the bottom of his bag. Heather puts the camera against a tree with Mike in frame, squatting on the ground, taking small puffs as to pull every last bit of comfort from the nicotine. Heather walks over, squats next to him, he hands her the cig and she rests her head on his shoulder.

Another incredibly simple, but impactful moment…Heather finds something and is panicking, but won’t tell Mike what she found. As she’s trying to put on the ginormous hiking backpack, her hair gets caught. In the most defeated and pitiful way, she quietly and vulnerably says, “My hair is caught.” This particular moment in this scene deeply resonated with me. The simplicity of how she said it, mid-panic attack and sobbing…it felt way too familiar. Reluctantly asking for help in the midst of losing your grip on reality.

Of course, we have the iconic scene of Heather speaking into the camera. Truly, this is the most iconic scene in horror film history. You need to watch it for yourself. (Wait until you read why.)

Finally, we have the last night. The two are woken up by what sounds like Josh yelling for help. They’re drawn further and further into the woods until they find an abandoned house. The disorientation gets worse and they’re drawn upstairs, then downstairs to the basement. Mike, running ahead of Heather yells out, “I hear him downstairs!” Another iconic quote, in my humble opinion. The way he says it, anxiously, but also with the minute sense of hope that they’ve finally found him. The last 30 seconds or so, all you hear is Heather screaming out for Mike, with no response. Heather finally reaches the basement to find Mike standing in the corner. Her camera drops.

Now, what if I told you that every single quote and scene I referenced was completely improvised by the actors? That’d be nuts…right?

Well, guess what. Turns out that the directors had many unconventional tendencies with just about every aspect of this film. From auditions to scripting, nothing was the norm. Heather, Josh and Mike were given a script with zero dialogue. On top of that, the directors kept their distance from the actors throughout filming, so there was very little foresight into what was going to happen in each scene. WHICH MEANS, not only were their lines completely improvised, their emotions and panic were 100% authentic and genuine reactions to what was going on around them.

My friend Nicholas, who is a writer himself, expressed his thoughts based solely on his memory of the film, “I wonder if that’s why it felt so real.”

It felt so real because these actors weren’t acting.

After learning this, my obsession with this movie has grown exponentially. The Blair Witch Project is officially in my top movies considering everything the actors went through…and apparently are still going through.

I know I mentioned on my Instagram that I wanted to include my 2 cents about the lawsuits, however I didn’t want to take away from the review itself. I’ll be writing up a separate piece that dives into the numerous lawsuits that these actors have and are currently dealing with. But, for now, we’ll leave it here.

I hope you enjoyed the read! When and if you end up watching (or re-watching) this film, let me know your thoughts in the comments. I’d love to know how and if your perspective has changed knowing what you know now.

Make sure to subscribe with your email to get all my future posts (including The Lawsuits piece) delivered directly to your inbox.

Until next time, my spooky friends.

Sources:

This article has some more super interesting information about the film, directing and actors: https://people.com/true-story-behind-the-blair-witch-project-8685471

Skinamarink – An Introspective Take

“…As all of this is going on, the viewer can only attempt to desperately put pieces together to make it make sense in their own head…”

Caution: SPOILERS (sort of?)

[It’s difficult to say that this review will really have spoilers because…well…the entire movie doesn’t have much context to begin with besides a very loose plot. The biggest spoiler I think would be how this movie is actually filmed. Other than that, there really isn’t much that I could spoil unless I go into excruciatingly painful detail about some of the scenes. The entire movie is as vague as the brief description is. Two children find themselves home alone with no means of escape, seemingly held by some sort of trickster entity lurking in the darkness.

Enticing. I know.]

So, I kept seeing Skinamarink under “recommended” on numerous streaming platforms. I never checked out the trailer until right before I watched it, but I thought it seemed creepy based on the movie stills alone.

Surprise! I decided to watch it. And I think I liked it.

If you watch the trailer, you pretty much spoil the entire theme of the movie yourself. I actually thought it was one of those trailers that purposefully doesn’t give much away and keeps it vague intentionally.

Well… everything the trailer shows is basically what the movie is.

The first descriptor that comes to mind? Unsettling.

The atmosphere and sense of dread alone could give anyone goosebumps, but what really adds to the creep factor are the camera angles.

In every single shot of this movie, you’re forced to think, “Was this really filmed this way on purpose?” Each shot looks like a mis-take – some are out of focus, most are peaking around corners or only filming the children’s feet pitter-pattering down the hallway when they get frightened by whatever they’re stuck in the house with.

Not to mention, the majority of the dialogue between the two kiddies is whispering back and forth, assuming as to not alert the entity of their whereabouts. What’s even creepier, is that the camera will stay in one place as you hear the children whispering, walking past and fading into the darkness, without ever seeing them in the frame.

It’s not until about halfway through the movie that we realize what they’re stuck in the house with is some kind of shape-shifter. It mimics their mother, the viewer is forced to assume, and when they get close, they’re spooked by loud shouting or growling in a gurgled, deep voice that doesn’t even sound human. Or, in other scenes, toys and furniture move on their own, noises and glass shatters come from rooms just out of view and things are thrown around, including the children at some point if I’m recalling correctly.

As all of this is going on, the viewer can only attempt to desperately put pieces together to make it make sense in their own head. You’re either staring at odd angles with small child-like shadows being cast on the walls, or you’re staring at an empty room while hearing a muffled commotion from the next room over, not ever having a clear view of what the hell is actually going on.

Every aspect of this movie is left up to each individual viewer’s interpretation. With no clear indication of the actual plot besides children being alone in an overtly spooky house with no means of escape, this just adds to the uneasiness of it all. Especially when you realize that there’s something trapped inside with them.

So… if you’re attempting to get a very loose idea of what this movie consists of, we have:

Kids home alone.
Dark, spooky house.
No adults to be found.
A mysterious, shape-shifting entity.
And no escape.

I saw a handful of viewers relating the story back to childhood fears of the dark, or even a young child’s perception of abuse within their family. I guess I could see how viewers could connect those dots, but after my own deep thoughts and examination about this film, I feel there are no dots to connect.

Skinamarink was left open to the viewer’s own unique interpretation, and how it translates itself is up to the individual watching it.

My closing thoughts are this – I really liked Kyle Ball‘s bold and unusual decision to direct this film the way that he did. I feel like a lot of horror movies are predictable these days. I felt as if I was being dragged through this movie as if I’m one of the kids trying to figure out what’s going on and how I’m going to get out of that house. I really reflected on this movie and I genuinely appreciate the effort that was put into it.

My final point: How you perceive the film says more about you than the film.

I encourage you to watch this movie and come to your own conclusions about what is going on here. A rainy, chilly evening in October sounds like the perfect vibe for an unsettling, suspenseful journey.

And hey, I’m publishing this just in time for spooky season! If you watch it, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Until next time, buds.