- It’s giving silence of the lambs, Amityville
- The slow panning/zooming in is cool
- 4:3 ratio expanding to wide screen is dope as hell
- Intuitive???
- Bruh
- Her partner (agent fisk) immediately getting shot is insane
- Best horror movies pop off immediately you cannot change my mind
- Psych test was confusing
- SHE’S PSYCHICCCC
- I’d be friends with her
- the glyphs are giving zodiac killer
- It’s like a combo of zodiac, with a film style of Stephen King. Nicky cage killing it
- “Like something tapping you on the shoulder telling you where to look” – so real
- I thought baby girl was pulling tarot cards when she was on the floor lmao
- The 911 call audio of the murders is CHILLING
- “I’ll drink while you tell me things”
- Is long legs a psychic attack??
- He murders them but not in person
- I like the detective + our MC dynamic
- Ruby + Harker are cute too, like a classic introvert/intuitive and kid dynamic
- Wants her to come to her birthday party
- I really hope the detectives family doesn’t die oh fuck
- Oh she lives next to the house from the beginning (she does not – post movie note)
- Love her house wow yes
- Girl shut your damn blinds
- Her going outside is actually insane idc she is not stable enough for this shit
- Lol oh now it’s in her house. Dawg
- Mom agrees, has to be some sort of paranormal psychic thing going on
- Maybe it’s a person projecting
- Oh my god long legs got bars
- Honestly love a killer with riddles and shit
- How’d you figure that out? “I only looked long enough”
- MC got “happy 9th birthday” card
- “Prayers protect us from the devil”
- The camera angles are SPOOKY
- An algorithm? What in the AI
- Girl from the beginning IS still alive
- so first family, camera family farm, started this (i was wrong btw – post movie note)
- X’s mark the spot
- The panning past our MCs into the background is tormenting
- Yes let’s open the door with a crucifix over it
- That doll is fucking insane
- The sound the ball makes that was found inside the doll is the noise MC hears – mom’s note
- Long legs calling her carrie
- “You’re not afraid of a little dark bc you are the dark”
- Oop carrie got a vistor and put Lee’s name (MC)
- “You’ve been to my house”, knew she was at the Farm house?
- Lee’s uneasiness is like so human, relatable
- Omg Carrie isnt the girl From the beginning
- Confused by the doll being the flashback, was she actually there when the murders happened??
- “Happiest of peaches” , gonna start using that lol
- Lee asked if she remembered The doll, she said no but you don’t either
- I think Lee was kidnapped by long legs, and she was the girl from the beginning
- Jan 13 mom called police (Jan 14, her bday, 9th birthday)
- Omfg connections!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Had to go see her mom, omg
- “I never said my prayers never once, they scared me”
- “Prayers don’t help us, Prayers don’t do a god damn thing”
- Oop mama is triggered by the 9th birthday question
- You’re not a Child bc you were allowed to grow up
- All of your things its all in your room
- The Polaroids!!! She got a pic of him!!! Smart fuckin girl
- “You can make me leave, but Ill have to come back, not once or Twice but as many times as I like”
- No way they found him so fast at the bus stop
- Honestly love this character so much, so unsettling, so nick cage
- The interrogation video is so metal, how he looks to specific people
- Harker is such an incredible character
- IS HARKER HIS HELPER
- mom thinks it’s the detectives daughter Ruby
- Carrie said she has seen Harker before
- IM SPIRALING
- A friend of a friend who lives downstairs
- THIS CHARACTER IS PHENOMENAL
- “We had a laugh about it, except she”
- Work that’s get dirty as it cleans
- Your house was whiter when I came to visit – purity? Sign of faith In God?
- Who is the man downstairs? Why don’t you ask your mommy
- I knew he was gonna smash his face into the table
- Carrie jumped off the roof omfg
- Her boss reaming her is unnecessary
- Is it the mother as the accomplice…?
- The mother had to make a deal to worship the guy downstairs in order to save Lee. Crimson or clover – mom’s note
- Oh no they blasted that other detective, my god dude
- Ooo her fucking doll
- “And you’re free too baby girl”
- Bruh
- Oop the full story at the end oh my God, told by her mother
- “No family, no ware wolves (Excluded the strangers part that she said to Lee earlier)
- A doll maker, a gift from the church
- Saved her daughter, In exchange, helped him
- From his hiding place from within the dolls, the guy downstairs did the rest
- She just had to get the doll inside
- Oh sick She’s alive
- Oh long legs was in their fucking basement bro. Literally the man downstairs lmao
- Ruby’s fucking birthday party
- Fuck she opened her doll
- Oh Mr downstairs is already all up in that bitch
- “Im so sorry ill be right back” “No, I’ll be right back” BROTHER
- THIS IS INSANE
- OH SHE SAVED RUBYYYY
Tag: horror
I Underestimated Longlegs…
“…Was NOT what I was expecting in any capacity. I was thoroughly impressed…”
Caution: Spoilers
Okay this one is a doozy, so bear with me. While this is more of a thriller than a horror, this movie definitely exceeded my expectations. Nicholas Cage did an excellent job producing and acting in this movie. That alone, I don’t want to say shocked me, but I was incredibly pleased with the style of filming and acting from him and the other characters.
The style is difficult to describe. Based on the intro scene, I first thought it was giving “Silence of the Lambs” meets “Amityville Horror”. However, it slowly morphs into a paranormal variation of “Zodiac”. You can tell where the inspiration came from, but “Longlegs” is absolutely it’s own entity in itself.
We’re introduced to Longlegs right in the beginning, which I wasn’t expecting. The movie starts out with a young girl noticing a strange vehicle outside of her house. When she goes out to investigate, you can hear her mother in the background calling for her. She turns, acknowledging her mother’s call, but she doesn’t respond. As she turns back around, there’s a pale man with long gray hair and disheveled clothes standing in front of her, but his face not in frame. He starts talking some nonsense and the girl stands there, stone-faced. Suddenly, the man lets out a cackle that he emanates with his entire body, his knees buckle, and he hunches over to give the audience a glimpse of his face for a split second before the title screen pops up.
Now this whole intro scene was filmed in 4:3 ratio, and as the credits roll, the ratio slowly pans out to a widescreen. I later noticed that they used the 4:3 ratio to indicate past events and I thought that was a really nice touch. It kind of makes you focus more on what’s going on, if that makes sense. Like they’re hoping the viewer hones in on smaller details that ultimately give hints to the plot.
We flip to Special Agent Lee Harker, who’s getting debriefed with her colleagues about where they should begin the hunt for a suspected killer. I don’t know what it is about Harker, but this first scene, I immediately loved her. She has a relatability to her that pulls you into her character and makes you want to know more, but ultimately, you never really get the opportunity. I literally wrote in my notes, “I’d be friends with her,” and I stand by that.
While her and her partner, Agent Fisk, are in a neighborhood knocking on doors and questioning people about this suspect, she begins hearing a low-pitched ringing noise. She turns around toward a house and says, “It’s that one,” indicating that that’s where the suspect is hiding out. Her partner takes it upon himself to walk up to the door and ring the doorbell.. and this part was pretty sick. As Fisk rings the doorbell, Harker is walking slowly past a large window that has the blinds pulled down. You can hear heavy footsteps approaching from the distance and walking right past the window ahead of Harker. The door opens, and as Fisk is reciting his monologue that he’s said to every other house he questioned, he’s interrupted by a bullet through his head. Yeah dawg, immediately #wasted. The best movies pop off immediately and you cannot change my mind. Long story short there, Harker takes the murderer into custody.
We’re then met with a pretty confusing scene of what seems to be Harker taking a psych evaluation. Next thing we know she’s in a car with Lieutenant Carter and Agent Browning, who eludes to Harker being psychic based on identifying the house where the suspect was hiding out and the psych test. I’m sure you’re not surprised to know my immediate response was, “fuck yeah.”
Carter immediately wants Harker on the Longlegs case and shows her the notes left at the crime scenes. They’re essentially Zodiac killer style with strange glyphs and signed by “Longlegs”. When she’s reviewing the documents and crime scene evidence, she has a line that I resonated SO deeply with. Carter basically asks her how she’s able to make connections so easily, and her response is that it’s “like something tapping you on the shoulder telling you where to look.” When I say that’s the perfect way to describe intuitive guidance and information, it is spot on.
Now at this point, I was thinking that Longlegs uses some sort of psychic attack to infiltrate the minds a family member and has them do the killings. It seemed to be on par with the theme so far with Harker being psychic, and the fact that they believe Longlegs is never actually at the scene of the crime ever. There’s never any evidence of forced entry, weapons are always something that was inside the house, and there’s no trace that anyone other than the victims are in the home at the time of the murders. (Just wait, this movie is wild.)
Harker is introduced to Carter’s family briefly, and naturally as an intuitive queen, his daughter Ruby seems to take a liking to her. Ruby asks Harker if she’d come to her birthday party, and Harker reluctantly agrees.
After she gets home, there’s a turn of events that lead to Harker finding a birthday card from Longlegs on her desk. Somehow, she’s able to decode the symbols in the letter and brings it into Carter’s office the next day. When he asks how she figured it out, she delivers another great line: “I only looked long enough.”
Now, there’s a couple points where Harker calls her mother, Ruth, and they have these quick, awkward conversations. It gives the vibe that their relationship is a bit estranged. Each time she speaks to her, Ruth asks her if she’s saying her prayers, and during the second phone call when her mother asks her and she says no, her mother says, “Prayers protect us from the devil.” This kind of gives the viewer reason to believe that maybe that’s the reason why their relationship seems so off, but again… just keep reading : )
I have to shout out the film style because the movie is already pretty eerie, but the camera pans and angles are such a nice touch. There’s a point where the characters walk past the camera and the camera doesn’t follow. The camera stays completely still at times focused on the backgrounds, but there’s never really a focal point. To me, it gives the impression that there’s always something or someone lurking and keeping an eye on our MC.
“The panning past our MCs into the background is tormenting.”
bullet from my notes
So Carter and Harker head to the Camera family’s home, the most recent victims of Longlegs. There, in the family barn, they uncover from the floorboards a life size, porcelain doll. They bring it to forensics and they’re told that this doll has human hair and a metal ball of sorts was found in its head. When they’re told this, the ball starts making a low-pitched ringing sound that only Harker seems to hear. (Remember that from earlier?) She’s snapped out of it by Carter who says that they need to visit the surviving member of that family, who has been in psych ward since she found her family butchered. Her name is Carrie Anne.
The visit to Carrie Anne isn’t incredibly significant, but we do learn that she seems to recognize Harker, saying, “You’ve been to my house.” Harker denies that she’s ever been to her house prior to that day, but Carrie Anne isn’t convinced. We get some visuals of what happened the day her family was murdered, and it’s all from the perspective of the doll. A key point in this interview, though, is that when Harker asks Carrie Anne if she remembers the doll, she responds, “No, but you don’t either.” Utter confusion at this point, but we proceed.
After this meeting, we find out that Carter is a bit suspicious of Harker because the Longlegs case has been frozen for years and soon as she gets put on it, dots are connecting seamlessly. He took a peek at some police reports and finds out that Harker’s mother had made a police report on Harkers 9th birthday about a strange man being at their house. He tells her that she needs to have a conversation with her mother and to find out who that stranger was and if it could have been Longlegs.
As we already know, Harker has a weird relationship with her mother. When she sits down next to her, her mother asks her again if she’s been saying her prayers, to which Harker responds, “I never said my prayers, never once. They scared me.” Ruth’s response? Not what you’d expect.. “Prayers don’t help us. Prayers don’t do a goddamn thing.”
Harker presses her about her 9th birthday and why she called the police about a stranger on their property. She avoids the question at all costs, never giving a straight answer. Harker eventually goes to her old bedroom to find a chest of things from her childhood. There, she finds polaroids, and we get a flashback of a young Lee Harker snapping a picture of Longlegs right before her mother comes out to question him. Longlegs starts yapping away and says, “You can make me leave, but I’ll have to come back not once or twice, but as many times as I like.” We then immediately flash to Longlegs at a bus stop, with two suitcases, and sirens approach from the distance. The cops eventually surround him and take him into custody. I honestly don’t know how I feel about them finding him so easily, but I guess it worked with the character and the plot.
I have to say, I really love the Longlegs character. He makes the viewer so uneasy and he’s super cringe at some points during a couple scenes where it’s just him. Nicky Cage did such a great job. He knows how to demand attention.
In the interrogation room, Harker walks in to an over-joyed Longlegs, welcoming her in as the birthday girl. She tries getting answers from him, asking him who his accomplice is and who is “the man downstairs”, as he keeps referring to. This guy just speaks in riddles and honestly, I’m so here for it. I love a killer with riddles and shit. In his own way, he explains how the houses were chosen and the conditions that had to be met. When Harker asks him for the last time who the man downstairs is, his response is, “Why don’t you ask your mommy?” He then proceeds to smash his face into the metal table until he’s dead.
My mom clocked something I didn’t at this point. She said that when Longlegs says, “Crimson or clover,” during the interrogation, this meant that Ruth had to make a deal with “the guy downstairs” in order to save her daughter. Shout out to Barb.
Harker races to her mother’s house with Agent Browning, who gets blasted by a shotgun the moment Harker gets inside her mother’s house. She looks out the window to see her mother walking around the other side of the car to shoot Browning one more time, before noticing her daughter standing in the window watching her. She runs outside and around the side of the house to find her mother standing there with a doll that looks exactly like a young Lee Harker. Her mother says, “You’re free, baby girl,” and blasts the doll in the head. We see a dark mist come out of the doll’s head, then out of Harker’s head before she passes out.
Now we get the full story of what the opening scene was about from Ruth’s point of view. One day a stranger visited their home and claimed he was a doll maker from the church. We’re to assume that he was invited into the home because the next scene is of him tying Ruth up in their living room and a young Lee peering through the doorway of her bedroom. Ruth made a deal with Longlegs that if he spared her daughter, she’d help him with what he was doing. Ruth explains that, “from his hiding place from within the dolls, the guy downstairs did the rest,” and she just needed to get the doll inside of the house and watch each family murder to ensure everything was done to “his” satisfaction. Basically, the dolls were harboring the devil and he’d brainwash each father with that low-pitched ringing to kill their family.
Was NOT what I was expecting in any capacity. I was thoroughly impressed.
After this re-telling from Ruth’s POV, we find Harker waking up in what appears to be Longlegs’ hideout… which is her mother’s fucking basement. Yes, Longlegs was hiding out in her childhood home and she was standing mere feet above him when she went there earlier. She hears a phone ringing, she picks up the line, and a creepy voice on the other end reminds her of Ruby’s birthday party. YES, WE HAVE COME FULL CIRCLE TO THAT.
When she arrives at Carter’s home, he and his wife answer the door strangely smiley and welcoming. Harker asks if everyone is okay, if Ruby is alright, and they both assure her everything is fine and that they’re just about to cut her birthday cake… DAWG. She walks into the living room to see Ruby sitting next to a life size doll of herself and her mother sitting directly across from Ruby. Harker tries to tell Carter that her mother is the accomplice, but it seems that Carter has already succumbed to the power within the doll. It’s so hard to describe the vibe of the room because, well, his wife is inexplicably chipper with a hint of panic and anxiety, while Carter is seemingly raging and short tempered. Ruby is quite sitting next to her doll and doesn’t mutter a single word during this entire scene.
Abruptly, Carter eerily says it’s time to cut the cake, which is quite obviously code for it’s time to cut something (or someone) else. His wife lets out an awkward yelp, as if she’s startled by what he says. She says, “I’m so sorry, I’ll be right back,” to which Carter snaps, “No. I’ll be right back,” implying she ain’t coming back because she’s the one about to get cut up. Shocker, she does. We don’t get a visual, but we hear all we need to hear to get the gist of what went down in that kitchen. Carter comes out, bloodied and knife in hand, and Harker raises her gun and tells him to drop it. He doesn’t, and like the fantastic character she is, shoots him dead. When she does this, her mother is TRIGGERED and stands up to attack Ruby. Baby girl wastes no time and shoots her mom point blank between the eyes. Quite the fabulous shot.
We’re left with quite the open-ended scene as Harker clings onto Ruby and tries to shoot Ruby’s doll to release what’s inside, but realizes she’s out of ammo. Her gun clicks a few times and we begin to hear that low-pitched ringing again. We’re kind of left unsure of what this means, as it cuts to black, then back to Longlegs in the interrogation room who leaves us with a wonderful declaration (sarcasm) that I will not be reciting. If you wanna know, go watch the movie.
Welp! I think that’s my longest review yet, but it was worth it. This was such a great movie, though, again, I wouldn’t really consider it horror. I mean, it’s horrific in certain aspects, but definitely not the genre per se. I’d give this a solid 9/10.
If you subscribe to get future posts sent directly to your inbox, I’d be just the happiest of peaches : ) (iykyk)
Until next time ❤
hugs & kisses xx
Meg
Heart Eyes Notes
- First murder
- Cafe, bumps into Jay.. literally. Head butts like 3 times, over-dramatic sound effects, but I was tolerant at this point
- MC gets roasted at work, Jay is collabing
- Introduced to detectives, they obviously trying to emanate Courtney Cox with the female detective, this character was just a bit more obviously psychotic. She just had a look on her face the whole time. (Joey clocked her mentioning the IT guy during this scene, which comes full circle toward the end, which you know I love a full circle moment)
- Annoying montage of her trying on outfits for date with Jay
- Date is terrible, she’s just such a bitch, made her so unlikable
- The POV of Heart Eyes is cool – wanted more, or more suspense
- Somehow Heart Eyes in her apartment after date, things progressing, it’s looking hopeful
- we get it, you’re trying to be funny, but it just felt forced
- It was funny that she threw the vibrator at Heart Eyes though
- Honestly, favorite scene was the chase scene between Heart Eyes and MC, using the carousel to disorientate her was awesome – WISH THERE WAS MORE OF THIS
- The police station scene was pretty decent, I’ll say, but they did make it a bit too obvious that the Courtney Cox detective didn’t return within that scene.
- “he hides in closets” never elaborated on that, and there was only 1 closet he hid in, and that was at the apartment scene…so?
- One thing with this scene though. My god, the MC finds a gun, shoots the 2 way mirror in the interrogation room and says, “Die.” SO COOL RIGHT? She fucking proceeds to miss every single shot aimed at Heart Eyes. RAGING.
- The drive in scene was cool to an extent, any time Heart Eyes was on the screen, honestly, I was in the zone. Walking past people and brutally, but casually, slicing through people was fucking awesome.
- The car scene where Jay and the MC are yapping and getting all romantic having a heart felt conversation that, I think, was supposed to be taken seriously for the development of their relationship, but like, I just didn’t care lol
- The two of them fighting it out with Heart Eyes and finally killing him, just to reveal that it’s someone WE HAVEN’T EVEN FUCKING MET, was such a let down and so disappointing.
- The reveal that it was like a trouple and their kink was killing was pretty dope, not gonna lie. I just think it was poor execution. they could have done so much better with the suspense leading up to that, but they were too much invested in the romance and forcing mediocre comedy relief every time something “horror-like” happened.
- We stayed for after credits, and they were kind of eluding to a sequel, then we realize it’s just Monica, who btw was my favorite character, and was such a releif because a sequel to Heart Eyes is the LAST THING that I’d want.
- (If there is a sequel, of course I’m going to have to see it because I wrote this review, but I’ll be waiting for it to come to a streaming platform before feeding the ticket box)
No 😍 For Heart Eyes…
“…I don’t mind the comedic effect, Scream is hilarious. I just don’t think it was done as well…”
Caution: Spoilers
BLEH! Fucking Heart Eyes.
I don’t even know where to begin with my disappointment from this supposed “horror” movie. From the very few trailers I peeped leading up to Saturday, all I saw were raving reviews and ratings (which are probably bullshit anyway), BUT I was pretty excited when I went to see it with my fellow horror pal...
We’re walking in thinking it’s going to be a good, ole fashioned slasher, like Halloween or Friday the 13th. Dude, this was more of a rom com than a slasher. There were even some points where they referenced murders that had taken place and they DIDN’T EVEN SHOW THE SCENES.
I’m personally not a huge rom com girlie, especially if I’m expecting to see a HORROR FILM. Ultimately, it just wasn’t what I was expecting in any capacity. And even when I realized they were going to rely heavily on the rom com angle, they didn’t even balance it out with violence (Alexa, play Violence by Blink-182). Anyway…
I wouldn’t say the movie started out strong, but the first scene was pretty funny and got me locked in. I really love when a horror movie pops off immediately. It sets the tone and suspense for the rest of the movie. Unfortunately, this movie had quite a few lulls where that suspense was completely lost, and it was more of an anticipation of like… when the fuck is our killer getting their screen time?
In the beginning after the first murder scene, they had different types of news reports calling the killer “H.E.K”, or Heart Eyes Killer, which I thought was silly, but like, in a good way. Very easy to compare it to Scream (and I’m going to mention that often, but don’t get it twisted. It was pretty poorly executed compared to Scream).
Oh my God. You know what just hit me? The freaking tagline for this movie is, “Stay Single. Stay Safe.” Within the first 10 minutes of the movie when the news reports are being thrown up on screen, a reporter literally says, “You don’t have to be in a relationship. He kills everyone.” SO WTF WAS THE POINT OF THE TAGLINE!!!

I’d say it was pretty decent up until the first rom-com-esque montage of our MC and her best friend, Monica, picking out an outfit for her first date with this guy, Jay. (I don’t even remember the MC’s name because she was so unlikable, and no, I will not look it up because that’s how little I care.) Jay takes our MC out on a date, and she’s just a total bitch. I didn’t really have beef with her until this scene. I’m not sure if they made her unlikable on purpose, but there was no redeeming her character after this in my humble opinion. Especially later when she has the opportunity to kill Heart Eyes and fails. Miserably.
We’re also introduced to two detectives who are inspecting the first murder scene, and they’re also incredibly unlikable. They could have made the duo a little more interesting perhaps, but it’s like they were too heavy handed with laying on the crazy vibes. The guy is simply overly creepy and weird. As for the woman, they obviously tried real hard to emanate a ‘Courtney Cox in Scream’ vibe… but a bit more psychotic. She had a look on her face that just gave psycho as soon as she popped up on screen. I guess maybe this was supposed to give the viewers a hint or something, but it kind of felt forced. I think if they slowly revealed that she was nuts, it would have made for better character development.
When Heart Eyes finds our MC and Jay in her apartment, I was thinking, “Okay, we’re finally getting somewhere.” Things were progressing and it was looking hopeful. Right before things pop off in this scene, there’s a funny moment that doesn’t take away from the horror aspect which I appreciated.
“I don’t mind the comedic effect, Scream is hilarious. I just don’t think it was done as well.”
Joey nailed it. It kept feeling like a parody of Scream or something. Honestly there wasn’t really a long-lasting serious moment geared toward the horror aspect of the film. When there was a more serious moment, it was more focused on the romance side of things instead of, I don’t know, the killer that the movie is literally named after???
Like, at least with Scream, Ghostface kind of has a personality / style of torment that is reflected by whoever is masquerading as him. I just wish we got that from this movie because Heart Eyes literally felt like a background character. There wasn’t much development on him at all. It’s like they didn’t give him any uniqueness and he was starting to feel like a mediocre Michael Meyers without any lore.
In one of the better scenes, Heart Eyes is chasing our MC and she finds herself hiding on a carousel that’s set up for the town’s Valentine’s Day event. He turns on the carousel and uses it to disorientate her and jumps on it and attacks her while it’s moving. It was actually really cool!! I WISH THERE WERE MORE SCENES LIKE THIS!
There’s another pretty dope moment when they’re at the police station and the lights go out. We’re lost in the dark for a moment, then you hear the high-pitched whirring of something activating. Heart Eyes turns on the masks’ night vision and the hearts of his mask glow a bright red. It’s SO sick. Like they could have did soooo much more for this killer and they just wanted to shove rom-com down everyone’s throats. UGH!!!
Another reason to dislike the MC so much – there’s a point where she literally has the opportunity to kill Heart Eyes, or at LEAST wound him. BUT NO. Home girl breaks the two-way mirror in the interrogation room and says, “Die.” SO COOL RIGHT? She fucking proceeds to miss every single shot and he gets out of the room unscathed. Dawg, I was raging. (Still am, clearly.)
After this, there’s a drive-in movie scene that’s pretty metal, too. That town’s Valentine’s Day event I mentioned? Yeah, these dorks lead H.E.K directly there, ya know, where a shit ton of couples would be gathering to celebrate the holiday. When our killer enters the event, for some reason, no one even acknowledges him. This dude has been on the news for years (we’re lead to believe from the opening) and for whatever reason, not a single person appears to care that he’s there. So, naturally as a killer who kills on Valentine’s Day would do, he starts walking past people and brutally, but casually, slicing through them and it was fucking awesome.
Honestly, any time Heart Eyes was on the screen, I was locked in. I just craved so much more from this killer and this film, and every time I thought we’d get a litttttle bit more, we skipped over to a different scene. Just so lackluster.
Eventually, our MCs have a little fight scene with Heart Eyes, and it’s honestly pretty brief, which was disappointing in itself… but then they pull the mask off him to reveal someone WE HAVEN’T EVEN FUCKING MET. With the amount of times I rolled my eyes during this movie, I’m surprised they even stayed in my head.
The reveal that Heart Eyes was a trouple and killing was their kink was pretty dope, not gonna lie. I wouldn’t say I was impressed, but it was a nice full circle moment from when the detective inspecting the crime scene in the beginning said something along the lines of, “maybe this is a kink or something..” I just think it was poor execution. They could have done so much better with the suspense leading up to that, but they were too invested in the romance story line and forcing mediocre comedy relief every time something “horror-like” happened.
We stayed for the after credits, and they were kind of eluding to a sequel, then we realize it’s just Monica messing with the MC, who, btw was my favorite character. For as little screen time that Monica had, she was a better actress than our MC and the detectives combined, truthfully. I hope I see her in future horrors, just not another Heart Eyes sequel. A sequel is the LAST THING this movie would need. (If there is a sequel, of course I’m going to have to see it because I wrote this review, but I’ll be waiting for it to come to a streaming platform before feeding the ticket box.)
I’ll say, too, that my friend Brittany saw Heart Eyes that same night with her boyfriend and she had the same opinion we did. It just wasn’t what was expected. Granted, apparently Rotten Tomatoes’ critic AND audience scores were really good. I didn’t realize I had to make sure a movie being advertised as a HORROR was actually going to be focused on horror, and not intertwined with a try-hard rom-com moment. But whatever. Clearly people liked it. I’m not saying it was absolutely terrible, rather, maybe a bit misleading.
That was my first not-so-thrilled movie review. I do actually have one on The Hills Have Eyes brewing… Although, I wasn’t going to even write it because it was kind of negative. Now, idgaf.
Let me know if you saw Heart Eyes, if you were bamboozled also, or if you were smarter than us and did some research before going to see it.
Until the next horror…!
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Love you lots + lots!
Meg
Green Room Notes
- I feel like I want to write something but I’m just taking it in – scenery is beautfiul though, even the corn fields
- shoutout to all the cat photos
- okay, the “we’re gonna drink” and skipping straight to the next morning. It’s giving like disoriented.
- also love how they made sure there’s lush greenery in all the windows (TO MISREPRESENT WHAT THIS MOVIE WAS 0 POST-MOVIE NOTE)
- “when you make it all virtual, you lose. you gotta just be there.”
- MC guy (who fell asleep first) pat? Idk his character is interesting. i wonder if he’s going to be the one who either gets them killed or betrays them – jk he gets them into shit
- oh no the mohawk guy is suspect
- i really like the storyline of it being from an up and coming band and stuff. definitely different
- the lead singer is such a shit head
- the slo mo mosh is pretty tight
- SO WAIT THE DARK HAIR GIRL THAT TOOK THE MONEY IN THE CROWD THAT PAT SAW, SHE WAS EMILY AND THE ONE WHO ENDED UP DEAD. WILD (POST-MOVIE NOTE)
- i’m like trying to process how things are going to end up sideways
- spoke too soon – immediate anxiety – the whole process of grabbing the phone and not letting them leave
- i don’t like how the guy who took the phone and who’s like the mediator (Gabe), seems like trustworthy?
- okay hold on i’m spiraling. THEY’RE COVERING UP THE GIRL DEAD WITH THAT KID STABBING HIS BROTHER HELLLLLLO
- ugh fuck the guy bringing up the set
- what was the name of your second to last song? fuckin hard man, thats the one i did her to. DAWG
- okay this was not what i was expecting. fuck yeah they got that big guy down.
- “we’ll do it here stage it up the road”
- ju jitsu bro i’m living
- “This is a fire hazard” – that’s going to come in handy (it didn’t)
- This is so interesting, they have like a little crime ring and shit going on
- AH they staged the blackout to get everyone out
- oh my good god they have a whole squad going in there to clean up their mess
- ugh it’s like I feel like they’re going to be smart about this but it’s also a horror movie
- is there not a window above the flag hanging..? (twas not)
- I hate that the girl didn’t fucking check to see if there were more people before he opened the door? bruh
- This made me think blondie (amber) was in on it then she cut him wide open and it was fire
- oh my god its a drug house. heroin
- MAN his arm is so butchered
- paired up with ex marines during paintball is coming in handy, so fuckin real
- it’s like they’re just real people
- them naming their last band
- THEM LEAVING FUUUUUCK IM SKURD
- i think blondie is in on it still
- DOGS BRO
- the red jacket guy is gonna help them oh shit oh shit hell yeah
- the girl that died was HIS GIRLLLLLLL
- “he and emily”, their bags were packed, they were gonna leave!!!!!!!!
- revenge time, red jacket guy (daniel)
- “wow a conspiracy” “no, just a cluster fuck”
- oop bye daniel, god damn.
- I honestly do love when they get the viewers hopes up and then smash em immediately
- I felt nothing when Sam died tbh
- Patrick Stewart (Darcy) in a horror film is killing me
- “they knew real war, they played real war”
- initiated Gabe into red laces, seems like he doesn’t want it
- Hm Gabe following them in is SUS.
- GABE IS TOTALLY HELPING THEM … maybe not
- where is amber
- AMBER IN THE COUCH HAHAHAHHAHAHA YESSSSSSS
- bruh wtf is gabe doing lmfao i can’t tell if he’s helping
- AMBER HELP HIMMMMMMM
- okay fine she was smooth with it
- LOL GABE, SIR, standing in the door way
- “i wanna go to jail” interesting
- it’s too quiet and sus. I think Pat is gonna die.
- long live doggo!
- so they’re going to a residence?
- OH THE VAN
- nice detail, the drawing and doodles from the beginning
- I’ll shoot you either way if you don’t hand me one lol
- IDK WHY THEY DON’T JUST SHOOT THESE GOONS OH MY GOD
- “it’s funny you were so scary at night”
- wow finally they shot them. idk what they were waiting for truthfully
- Let’s see what Gabe is up to now.
- the flashes of that one metal head and the mohawk guy
- the dog just walking buy them and them trying to shoot. Wow
- oh my god the dog laying on the owner
- I know my stranded island band, tell someone who gives a shit
- that kind of breaks my heart bc his friends would have been so psyched to finally hear it
Sinister Notes
- the intro then panning to the broken tree in the back yard is awesome
the names of the tapes are so clever lol - ethan watching the films with a notepad is me right now
- the sound of the ropes when he goes outside to look at the tree – nice touch
- the montage of him putting the film in is cool
- the sounds in the second film – ick – music/sounds from films are uncomfortable, eerie,
- him going to take a drink and the glass is empty while watching the second film
- ethan trying to figure out how to edit the film back together, also cool
- that tree keeps coming into frame is cool
- using the phone flashlight is pretty sick, you can tell they really used that too bc it’s not lighting up anything lol
- the cop is such a great supporting character – “snakes don’t have feet” / the fan girling is so comical
- when he takes the screenshot of the face and stands in front of it – it’s like a stand off
- the face moving in the still on the computer – iconic
- when he holds the screenshot up to the window and pulls it down to see the face outside
- scorpion, snake, doggo – manifestations, yes
- the way they introduce the kid’s spirits is pretty cool, and how their movements are making actual noise in the house and making him move around
- the light work when they’re fighting in the bedroom, him sitting in the shadow and moving in and out of the light, the wife mostly in the light…and then they switch places with her in the shadow
- “your kids are your legacy” – the twist of the kids being the killers and their own families legacies bc they were never found
- the scene of him waking up, going into the attic, the kids and the thing up there, spooky but wish it was creepier
- ugh the hope of them actually leaving and the movie ending there.
- knowing what was going to happen, sick to my stomach dawg
- the images gateways – ethan’s screenshots of the stuff
- the darkness behind him at the desk…..foreshadowing of what loooms
- “the problem is that you moved” … “you not only sped up his timeline, you put yourself in it”
- the goosebumps of stephanie swinging on the parent’s leg….
- the glowy green stuff in the coffee was a bit corny
- the twist that they would have been safe at the previous home, maybe just a little sage + protection magick
Blair Witch Notes
SCENES:
- the little kid freaking out when the mom is telling a story about the witch is a nice touch – UNSCRIPTED
- guy took 2 kids down to basement, 1 faces the corner while the other one is killed – HARDCORE FORESHADOWING
- all the ‘interviews’ seem so authentic and like real people retelling stories
- when you really pay attention to the stories and back story of the blair witch, it’s actually incredibly unsettling and i found myself getting super uneasy and uncomfortable
- why doesn’t heather tell mike about what she found
- heather screaming for mike to wait kills me man, paired with the overlayed footage
- brother. that very last scene of mike standing in the corner and her screaming at him and the camera dropping.
- i cannot believe how impactful that scene STILL is. literally almost brought tears to my eyes.
FILMING:
- the overlaying of audio and mismatched video is fun and a nice touch
- the iconic scene of heathers face right in the camera. oh man. so impactful, such great fucking acting brother AND her looking off to the side while she’s filming, bruh
- actors, phenomenal. concept, phenomenal. filming, phenomenal. casting, phenomenal.
ACTORS:
- the innocence of Heather IN THE BEGINNING
- the panic that Mikey emits is anxiety inducing; you actually feed off Mikey’s panic a bit, he seems like the only one that’s understanding the actual serevity of being so lost in the woods, aside from those woods being incredibly haunted
- OOF that first scream for Josh from Heather is heartwrenching
- you can see the defeat, shame, agony grow on each of their faces throughout the entire film – WHICH IS WILD BC THIS IS THEIR TRUE DETERIORATION OF SANITY
QUOTES:(Even better bc they’re unscripted)
- “we’ll all look back on this and laugh heardily” – saying from a real thought regarding filming?
- “we light fires, they know” – mikey – the directors? or what’s in the woods?
- “what the fuck is that!?” to something out of frame!!!!!
- “i can see why you like this video camera so much. it’s not reality” – GET WHOLE QUOTE OF THIS
- “tell me where you are Josh” from mike. HEARTWRENCHING
- the simplicity of her saying “my hair is caught” mid-panic attack, crying, after she found the stuff- OOF, felt that shit
- “it was my project, and I insisted. I insisted on everything.” / “hungry and cold and hunted” / “i’m scared to close my eyes, i’m scared to open them”
- “i hear him downstairs” – also iconic
- “that was a very uncomfortable movie. very uncomfortable.” – my mom
Green Room is Metal AF
“… I’m talking machetes, dogs, chainsaws… there was no holding back…”
Caution: Spoilers
What better way to hop back into reviews than with some suspenseful gory horror? Last week while I was painting, I was chatting with a horror movie king, and he recommended Green Room. Quote on quote, “YOU NEED TO WATCH THAT ONE.” I had to watch it when I could pay attention, so I kept it in the back of my head for a week and here we are. I chose to not watch the trailer or even read the summary before I hit “Start Now”. It was quite the choice, but I’m glad I went into it blind. It made it more insane.
Green Room follows an up and coming band trying to book some gigs to get their name out there. Though, I can’t recall if the name of the band was even given. It’s almost like the creators didn’t want us to be too invested in their story, as opposed to the movie’s story line. (Unless I completely forgot or didn’t hear the name, of course.) There’s 4 members: Pat, Sam, Reece, and Tiger. It’s interesting because the first couple of scenes are a bit disorienting and appear to be cut short. I was kind of confused at first, but truly it ended up feeling like they just cut out less important scenes to make sure they included all the good stuff later on.
The first show they do sucks because all of the bands pulled out and they’re the only ones performing. A no-name band that no one really knows, not many people are going to show up. The group is pissed because they were banking on getting paid from the event, and they only ended up getting $6 each. The guy that hooked them up with the gig tries to make it up to them by recommending his cousin Daniel’s venue that has a pretty decent line up the next day. They’re strapped for cash, so they take him up on the offer.
Now, the guy that recommended his cousin’s place warns them that this particular venue attracts and is owned by… well… white supremacists, and to try not to piss these people off. They note it, although not taking him too seriously, and head out.
They drive out to the venue, meet Daniel and another guy, Gabe, who gets them all set up and ready for their set. They go into the dressing room and there’s a whole bunch of things you’d imagine a venue that loves white supremacists would have. Tiger, the lead singer, decides their first song is going to be a nice ‘fuck you’ to the bigots, but remember, they need their money. They’re not trying to get kicked out by being too combative. They end up playing through their set and during it, there’s a really dope, slow-mo montage of everyone moshing. It’s pretty sick. Right before this montage, there’s a brief moment where Pat notices a girl with dark hair taking money from people in the crowd. She’s super pretty, but almost seems out of place and a tad suspicious. As she moves out of frame, we get a glimpse of Gabe in the background, with a somber look on his face. I actually didn’t note this scene in my notes while I was watching, but everything came flooding back once I began writing about the movie from the beginning.
The band finishes their set, all their things are outside in the hallway, and they’re getting ready to get paid and leave. Sam realizes she left her phone charging on the counter in the dressing room. Pat says, “Don’t worry, I’ll get it,” and walks into the room. He unplugs her phone from the wall, turns around and is frozen in place trying to process what he just walked into.
That pretty dark haired girl? On the floor with a knife in her head. He looks to his right to see a blonde girl hysterical and 2 huge guys (who are part of the venue staff) staring back at him. Everyone is still until they aren’t, and this scene had me in a choke hold. Everything happens so fast. The 2 guys lunge at Pat trying to grab him and his phone. As this is happening, Pat dials 911 and actually gets through! He makes it out of the room and is frantically trying to explain, while slipping through the fingers of the men, that there’s been a stabbing and someone is dead. The rest of the band immediately jumps into action, trying to grab him and pull him through, and trying to move past the other 2 dudes in the hallway. But, they’re trapped. The largest guy that was originally escorting them out of the venue peeks into the room and says something along the lines of, “I told you to keep this door locked.” Gabe seems to realize what’s happened, takes Pat’s phone and makes his way out of the hallway. He says going to take care of it and everyone just has to ‘hang tight’. The band is told to wait there, guarded by the very men that might have just killed this girl.
Now, I know I said spoilers, but I can only include so many details… I’m leaving a lot out… mostly because this blog post would end up being like 10,000 words long. It’s better to see and experience the movie for yourself so you can clock all of the little details that make this movie so incredibly anxiety inducing and sick (in a good way). Long story short, they end up barricading themselves in the dressing room, quickly get acquainted with Amber, the dead girl’s friend, and begin to brainstorm how they’re going to get out of there alive.
We’re soon introduced to Darcy, who’s played by Patrick Stewart of all people. The absolute confusion when I first realized it was him was comical. I don’t think I had ever seen him in a horror movie before this one. Have any of you?? Anyway…
Darcy is no bullshit. He’s the owner and what he says goes. He makes it very clear that they’re not leaving without going through him and his goon squad. When I tell you, they are legitimately like a S.W.A.T team swarming the venue leaving no means of escape. To make matters worse, Darcy says they can use anything but guns (at first). I’m talking machetes, dogs, chainsaws… there was no holding back. They wanted zero witnesses to what happened.
There’s a quick scene before they make their first attempt to leave the room where Pat, who has lost a shit ton of blood after getting his arm butchered (agonizingly refraining from going into detail about this), where he tries to tell a story of when him and the other boys went paint balling. He explains that this situation feels similar to that day because they were paired up with ex-marines who were tactical, using hand signals, and essentially, were playing like they were really on the battlefield. I don’t know what it was about this scene, but it resonated. Like, these are just chill people who were at the wrong place at the wrong time and are now fighting for their lives. There’s a quote from Pat a little later in the movie where he references this paint ball game again and says, “They knew real war, they played real war,” and I have to admit, this was probably the best way to describe the power plays of Darcy’s men vs. the band and Amber.
Our poor 5 captives try their best to escape and take whatever they can from the dressing room to fight back, and, well… let’s just say only 3 of them return to the room. As a little hint to what happens, I don’t think I’ve seen anything as brutal as a dog tearing someone’s throat out. (Okay, maybe that one scene from the first Terrifier movie, IYKYK, but this doggo scene was pretty gnarly.)
There are some cool, quite surface level, but cool backstories that come into play that add some insight as to how and why the girl was killed and why the people that run the venue are so brutal. I kind of wish we had a weeee bit more backstory dialogue, but truthfully, the way the movie played out, I’m not mad about it.
Now, a character that had piqued my interest waaaay more was Gabe. He was the one that helped the band prepare for their set, the guy that was on the scene when they found the dead girl in the dressing room, and who informed Darcy of the situation. Essentially, Darcy’s right hand. Throughout the entire movie, even from the moment he took all of their phones when shit first went down, I couldn’t tell if this dude was going to end up helping them in some way. For reasons like the scene where we see him in the background watching the girl that was about to be murdered – his face kind of seemed to not be completely invested or committed to whatever Darcy had brewing. It was just a vibe.
In about the last 20 minutes or so of the movie, they show Gabe entering the venue with 2 guys who were expected to finish off our last 2 survivors, while he walked around cleaning up some of the mess from all of the previous brutalities. My notes were so back and forth. Every few bullet points I had, “Hm, Gabe is sus,” then a few down, I’d write, “OMG he’s totally helping them!”, then, “hm..maybe not.” This guy seriously confused me the most. I feel like he was too terrified to stand up to Darcy, but given the opportunity, without Darcy’s knowledge, would have helped them in some capacity…
In one of the final moments of the movie, there is, what I consider, an iconic quote from one of our survivors when confronting Darcy. They say, “It’s funny. You were so scary at night.” and proceeds to fuck him up. Satisfying is an understatement, especially since it takes our survivors a little too much time to start ripping through the remaining bad dudes. Oh, and remember the doggo scene I mentioned earlier? Well, the very last scene of the movie, our survivors are sitting on the ground, in disbelief that they’re alive. In the distance, you hear what sounds like chains jingling. It’s the dog. They weakly raise their guns while the dog trots right past them, not even acknowledging the empty clicks of them trying to shoot it point blank.
Literally up until the last scene of the movie, they make references to small details or talking points from earlier scenes in the movie. I always love catching things like that because sometimes you’ll forget a funny moment or smaller detail of something from the beginning, and when they refer back, it’s like a “Oh shit, nice!” moment. I really love when screenwriters come full circle with things like that.
Listen, I know this was a long one, and I really didn’t include TOO many spoilers or go in depth too much, but honestly if I did, this would be 10x as long and you wouldn’t finish reading it anyway. There was SO much that happened in those 90 minutes, it would have taken forever to go through everything scene by scene like I usually do. If you’re that curious, go watch the damn movie 😝 It’s only about 90 minutes, and honestly it doesn’t even feel that long because of the constant state of anxiety from the moment they find the dead girl. It’s literally 100mph until the very end. Everything happens so fast and there’s so much going on that it’d be difficult to effectively explain every single brutal scene in this one post.
It’s a solid 9/10 in my humble opinion. Shout out to Joey for the rec! 😊
I’m going to be posting more often, so follow @bloomingwithenergy on IG and make sure you’re subscribed to get my new posts and other updates sent directly to your email!
Xox ♡
Terrifier… is Terrifying
“…Aside from his outright absolute brutality, his mannerisms and demeanor make him such an unconventional character…”
CAUTION: SPOILERS
(I had no idea what I was in for with this movie…)
SURPRISE! I watched Terrifier, and brethren, I was not mentally or emotionally prepared whatsoever. I had been wanting to watch this movie for some time, and since Terrifier 3 came out on a day I happened to be home and wasn’t feeling well, I thought, “Perfect! I’ll add the first one to my Spooktober list and surprise the gang.”
If you don’t know, Terrifier is a slasher with our main man being Art the Clown. This guy dresses up in a black and white clown outfit, and is essentially a mime. He doesn’t utter a sound throughout the entire movie, which just adds to his sadistic nature. And… well… that’s it. We don’t get any backstory in Terrifier, but I do know that there’s a prequel called All Hallow’s Eve that adds a little bit of insight to who the hell Art is. But, yeah… no one is safe from this dude, and even when you think there might be some humanness to him, you are quickly proven wrong.
I was quite literally not ready for what transpired in that ~90 minutes of pure chaos. Just the opening scene itself! From the first 5 minutes until about halfway through this movie, you’re on the edge of your seat wondering where the fuck these directors heads were at making this and are they like… mentally sane? And I say “until halfway through the movie” because there is a bit of a lull where things go from 100 to 0 pretty drastically. I feel like that might have been on purpose to give the audience some time to breathe in-between the absolute madness that occurs.
There’s a scene in a pizzeria where Tara and Dawn (our mc girlies) are trying to sober up before they drive home. Art, who has already been seen by the girls, sits down at a table across from them. Tara and Art have the best stare-down, tension building moment. When they lock eyes, Art begins to make faces at her, seemingly trying to get a reaction, but Tara is stone cold. One of the workers at the pizzeria asks Art to order something or GTFO. There’s a bit of a struggle and Art leaves.
Blink and you miss it, but at the pizzeria there’s a jack-o-lantern on top of the glass case where they put the pies. Of course, as you might have guessed, these dudes have no chance of making through the rest of this movie. BUT when one of the guys comes out from the backroom looking for his co-worker, he’s met with Art, covered in blood with a big ole knife in hand. As he’s being attacked we get a glimpse of the missing co-workers head on the glass case, which replaced the jack-o-lantern, lit up and all. If you’re not completely sickened by the gore and slashing that occurs, it’s actually pretty hysterical.
After the pizza shop interaction, I literally wrote in my notes, “I really think I found my new favorite horror movie.” What that says about me, I dunno. We’re a judgement-free zone here, okay? The reason why I like this movie so much is because everything happens so quickly and there’s no time to process what’s going on. It’s almost as if the directors were trying to get the audience in a real Fight or Flight of what they’d do in each situation. It’s so wild to experience.
I’m not going to go too much into detail about some of the scenes because you need the unawareness going into this movie if you haven’t seen it. I refuse to spoil the shock factor!!!
Now, let me talk about Art the Clown as a character. Aside from his outright absolute brutality, his mannerisms and demeanor make him such an unconventional character. Like honestly, there’s some shocking ways that Jason Voorhees, Michael Meyers and Freddy Kruger kill their victims, but nothing compares to Art’s style and savagery.
The acting by David Howard Thornton is impeccable. The way in which he utilizes his entire body to express his emotions is beyond impressive. When he’s reacting to certain things that take place, his expressions are so over-the-top that it’s relatively easy for the viewer to guess what he would be saying if he could speak. (I assume there’s a reason he can’t… unless it’s a voluntary attribute that Art takes upon himself to implement… which would make his character even more insane than he already is.)
He’s brutal, man. When he’s attacking people, he’s making sure he’s getting them good. I also feel like he plays up to each victim’s personality, almost like he’s mocking them. Like with Tara, since the pizzeria incident, the antagonistic style of his attacks and torture mimicked the way he was egging her on sitting at the table with his facial expressions. There’s another character, who is referred to as the “Cat Lady” according to casting, who is clearly homeless and mentally ill. She has a doll that she thinks is her daughter and Art takes advantage of her motherly instinct after she asks him, “Is there kindness in you?” And I swear, you start to think for a second that she possibly makes some type of impact with how she asks him that question. Unfortunately, no one is safe in this movie. Literally every single person that enters the chat is not safe in any capacity.
Another thing that really freaked me out was that, even when Art was stabbed and beaten by some of our brave characters, he doesn’t utter a peep, dude. Like no noise at all. Then will shoot the camera a side-eye or an eye-roll breaking that third wall and you’re like… “Are you kidding..?” Then he does some shit like popping into the room on a mini bicycle to chase one of the girls. Or when he pulls out one of those oversized clown horns to tease one of the victims. He even gives the finger to a girl that bamboozles him in the midst of them duking it out. Nothing is serious to this guy and it makes it ever so slightly easier to watch, but man, the barbarism is enough to really fuck you up.
To be completely honest, though, I really dig Art the Clown as a horror icon, and, dare I say, he’s my favorite. If you’ve seen the movie, you absolutely know what I mean. He’s a goof and he’s actually pretty funny, just in really fucked up ways. Some of the scenes are so detailed and so raw, and then we have Art sprinkling in humor, like he’s playing up the sadistic clown stereotype. He’s truly the best at it.
I will say, about 3 quarters of the way through, I was feeling kind of exhausted, like the flip flopping between absolutely wild slasher scenes and unexpected comedy. It’s like, not only does Art play with the emotions of his victims, but he plays with the audience’s emotions as well. I couldn’t tell how on edge I was during the entire movie until the end credits came on and I involuntarily breathed a sigh of RELIEF. The ruthlessness of how he kills people is just so profound, it makes you physically, verbally and emotionally react to what’s happening. I felt like I was traumatized for a couple days after the fact.
I’d assume Art is something like Michael Meyers or Jason because of the sequels, Terrifier 2 and Terrifier 3. This guy just keeps coming back. Although, truthfully, I think I’d stand more of a chance against Michael or Jason than Art. If you found yourself in one of the Terrifier movies, there’s little to no hope for you, bestie. Sorry!
You’re probably wondering if I’m planning on seeing the sequels… and absolutely I am! I’m spacing them out though. I haven’t decided if I’ll be writing reviews for those yet, but make sure you’re subscribed so you’ll be the first to know if I do!
Let me know in the comments or on the socials if you’ve seen Terrifier, and if you agree with my thoughts about Art the Clown. That’s all I have for this one.
Stay tuned for my next Spooktober horror review!
Xox
Sinister – An Eerie All-Time Favorite
“…The face is almost antagonistic, challenging the author to not only figure out what’s going on here, but emanates, “Are you sure you want to do this?”…”
CAUTION: SPOILERS
[I will say that nothing beats the first time watching this. I kind of wish I hadn’t seen it before so that this review would be a bit more emotionally charged, but it is what it is.]
The opening title screen is a doozy. If you know, you know. If you don’t, stop right here, go watch the movie and come back.
We’re met with a family of four moving into their new home. The father, Ellison, is an author whose best-seller is a true crime story that actually helped solve an unsolved murder case. In the kitchen, Ellison is chatting with his wife who makes him promise that they didn’t “just move into a house where a family was murdered.” Well… with the context of the opening title scene and a slow panning of the camera, we realize that this writer has indeed moved his family into a house where the previous family had been murdered. Technically, he wasn’t breaking any promises, though, because they were killed in the backyard. (Please let me know if you get that reference.)
Rather quickly, Ellison finds a box in the attic with an old-school projector and film rolls. There are 5 tapes that are labeled: “Pool Party ’66,” “BBQ ’79,” “Lawn Work ’86,” “Sleepy Time ’98” and “Family Hanging Out ’11”. Naturally, his curiosity gets the best of him and he brings them to his office to watch with whiskey in hand.
I have to say, I did giggle a bit when he first sits down with his notepad and beverage. I was like… “Oh my god, that’s me right now taking notes.”
The first video he watches is “Family Hanging Out ’11”, which takes place at the home they’ve just moved into. It shows the family playing in the backyard, seemingly unaware that they’re being filmed. Suddenly, the film cuts to 4 of the family members standing under a large branch, their heads covered, hands tied behind their backs and ropes around their necks. We switch over to Ellison, who went from casually sipping, relaxing in his chair to sitting straight up, eyes widened and in utter shock and disbelief of what he’s about to witness. An adjacent branch, which starts to break, has the ropes attached to it…meaning that once that branch begins to fall, the leverage would pull the ropes up. I’m sure you can assume the outcome. Then, the film ends.
Ellison immediately leaves his office and heads to the backyard where the tree with the broken limb stands towering over him. As he looks up, we’re at the perspective of looking down from the limb where the family’s lives ended. If you don’t pay attention you’ll miss it, but amongst the sound of the wind, you can hear what sounds like ropes rubbing against the bark, as if the family was still hanging there. This was such a subtle detail, yet a masterful one.
We won’t go through each tape, but Ellison does go through and watch each one. He realizes that there’s one child missing from each family’s tape. Instinctively, he grabs his phone and dials 911. The operator answers, only to get no response. He stops, glances over at his previous best-seller and hangs up the phone. At this point, he’s convinced he’s just found his big break for his next true crime novel.
There are some cool moments while he’s watching the other films. They include a dope montage of him loading up the projector with film and setting everything up. However, they totally used the same montage later in the movie. The sounds and music paired with each film differ, but, of course, they’re creepy as hell. Not only are the films themselves already gut-wrenching, but the addition of the odd music and weird sounds make it all the more uncomfortable.
There comes a point when Ellison notices that there’s a face that appears in each film. He’s able to transfer stills onto his computer, prints them and hangs them on his cork board. The first time he glares at one of the images, it’s like a standoff. The face is almost antagonistic, challenging the author to not only figure out what’s going on here, but emanates, “Are you sure you want to do this?” It’s ultimately an incredibly powerful scene. Ellison gets in contact with an occult professor, sends him these images and we learn that this mysterious face could be an ancient demonic entity that preys on children.
The missing children are introduced in a pretty unique way. Ellison can’t see them, but as a viewer, you’re able to see them zooming around the house in slow-motion while Ellison is moving at regular speed. The kids’ movements coincide with noises around the house that grab his attention, forcing him to move from one room to the other. They’re messing with him, trying to confuse him and using his curiosity against him.
The last night at their new home, Ellison gets drawn back up to the attic when he hears some thumps in the night. When he makes his way through the hatch, he’s met with the children sitting on the floor in front of the entity, and they all slowly turn to look at him. It’s just as anticlimactic as it sounds, honestly. This scene was a bit underwhelming compared to how the rest of the film was shot. I’m not sure if that’s because I’ve seen it before, but I wasn’t overly fond of how it was executed.
After this, Ellison wakes up his whole family and says they need to leave. Then, they end up cutting to the family moving back into their old house. Everyone’s happy, the lighting of the film is brighter and for the first time in a horror movie, you might be thinking, “Oh hell yeah, they actually left before shit got too real.”
Wrong-o.
Ellison gets a call from the professor who explains this entity’s goal is to receive a sacrifice from its worshipers in order to “save” them. As the camera cuts back, we see Ellison sitting alone at his desk with the deepest darkness looming behind him, as if to visibly display his impending doom. He gets a phone call from Officer So-And-So, who he’s been sending to voicemail all night. As he answers the phone, he takes his coffee that his daughter brought to him before she went to bed. The officer explains that he did his own research about the filmed murders. He tells Ellison, “The problem is that you moved… You not only sped up his timeline, you put yourself in it.”
Turns out that each family that died had lived in the preceding murdered family’s home. Once the family moved, they were murdered. Does that make sense? So, because Ellison moved his family out of the home he thought was haunted, he now put his family in this murderous timeline. When he hears this, he looks down at his mug to find a glowing green liquid swirling around in his coffee. He drops his phone, then the mug and hits the floor.
I remember being absolutely floored (no pun intended) when they explained that twist. Anyone would think that if you’re in a potentially haunted house and seeing little ghost children that moving out is the best option. Apparently not! That’s the point of the kids harassing Ellison in the first place. They spooked him to get them to move so the entity’s timeline could persist. But how wild of a twist is that!? They would have survived had they stayed at the previous home! Who knows, maybe a little sage could have made the kids eff off.
Sadly, as you might have already assumed, the author and his family become victims themselves, adding to the collection of tapes. I really didn’t divulge TOO much about this movie because the first-time watch is unparalleled. If you haven’t seen this movie, PLEASE do yourself a favor and watch it ASAP. You will not be disappointed.
I hope you enjoyed my thoughts on Sinister! I encourage you to watch this movie and share your reactions in the comments. October is only halfway over – plenty of time for some well-deserved spooks!
Stay tuned for my next review…it’s pretty terrifying.