Learning how to cope with negative feelings can be just as difficult as the situation that brought about the negative feelings in the first place. We get sad, angry, jealous, confused, distraught, and sometimes it’s difficult to find relief. Let’s be real, feeling any kind of negativity within us just doesn’t feel good – physically, mentally, energetically, emotionally, or spiritually.
And if you’re reading this, you’re probably going through a tough time right now. I just want you to know that I’m here for you and you are not alone in what you’re feeling. Nor are you alone in searching for relief and coping mechanisms for how to overcome these challenging feelings.
The information below is all opinion and based on my own personal experiences.
I want to clarify, that I’m no medical professional by any means. Therefore, if you are in a mental health crisis, please reach out to your doctor, someone you trust, or call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (988).
Remember, there are so many people that are grateful that you exist. You are so loved.
What does it mean “to cope”?
I feel like the word “cope” has been thrown around a bit too much when it became part of mainstream culture. I’ve noticed some internet dwellers use it to emphasize dramatics or in a sarcastic manner. However, like the definition above reads, it’s used to describe overcoming significant situations.
Coping can be confused with distracting. I have to say that I’m guilty of distracting myself from negative emotions in order to push them aside and keep it moving. Honestly, that’s not a healthy thing to do.
In the definition, the terms deal with and attempt to suggest action. When we cope with negativity, we are taking action to address these feelings head-on, instead of disregarding and suppressing them, or using distractions to keep our minds busy. But just as the word attempt suggests, sometimes we try to deal with these things and we struggle.
So, what do we do then?
How can we transmute negative energy and feelings?
The word transmute means to change something’s form, nature, or substance. When we talk about transmuting energy, think of it as utilizing negative feelings to fuel an action that is releasing in some way, shape, or form.
For example, if you suffer from anxiety, it’s well-known that exercise is effective in diminishing feelings of anxiety, worry, and stress. This is a healthy way to not only cope with intense negative feelings, but also to transmute the negative energy you’re feeling into energy for a workout. In college, I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and one of my main outlets, or coping mechanisms, was the on-campus gym.
There are many other coping strategies I still use to this day that allow me to redirect energy from festering negative emotions into more positive, healthy activities that release these feelings.
Five ways to help you cope with and transmute negative feelings.
1. write them down
It’s as simple as you might think. Grab a journal, printer paper, your phone’s notes app, or laptop and get everything out. Write a letter (that you won’t mail), an email (that you won’t send), poetry, or something less structured. This allows you to get negative feelings out in a way that isn’t filtered and really has no negative repercussions.
2. talk it out
Of course, talking through your feelings and emotions during a difficult time with someone you trust is a great way to release. Sometimes others are able to offer different perspectives that can be helpful when learning how to cope with negative feelings.
3. dance it out
Yes, you read that right! I recently had a conversation with a friend that revolved around an Instagram reel. The video was captioned, “POV: you see me doing rasputin in my bathroom to scare off the panic attack”. And yes, there was someone doing the rasputin dance in their bathroom. When I sent it to them as something to giggle about, they said that dancing has actually worked for them when dealing with their anxiety. “Okay but singing and dancing actually helps.”, they said, “I think it tricks my brain that I must be comfortable if I’m going [to do] those things.” I honestly have never tried this one, but I’m willing to try it out if the opportunity arises.
4. do something you love
It’s simple really. Using negative energy to do something that you love is transmutation. You’re transmuting the negative feelings and energy into proactive energy going toward something you enjoy. Whether it’s writing, reading, painting, decorating, shopping, cooking, going for a drive, etc. You have the ability to take control of your energy and feelings. Plus, you may even create or find something beautiful in the process.
5. acknowledge them and let yourself feel
Finally, allow yourself to feel these emotions deeply, acknowledge them and accept them. I know sometimes our initial response to anything negative is to push it down, distract ourselves, or move on quickly. I get it. But negative energy and feelings are tricky. The more they sit inside of us, the more they take a toll on our inner well-being. Frankly, it’s not healthy. The goal is to learn how to turn negative feelings into energy that can be used to do something more positive. Practice makes progress.
I hope that this shed some light on any darkness you may be facing. Like I said at the beginning, learning how to cope with negative feelings can be just as tough and what brought them about. As long as we acknowledge them, we’re gentle with ourselves during this time, and we learn what works best for us to cope with them in a healthy manner, nothing will be able to break you.
Love to you always,
MKB
If you or someone you love needs support, please call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (988). There are so many people that are grateful that you exist. You are not alone.
