Cafe, bumps into Jay.. literally. Head butts like 3 times, over-dramatic sound effects, but I was tolerant at this point
MC gets roasted at work, Jay is collabing
Introduced to detectives, they obviously trying to emanate Courtney Cox with the female detective, this character was just a bit more obviously psychotic. She just had a look on her face the whole time. (Joey clocked her mentioning the IT guy during this scene, which comes full circle toward the end, which you know I love a full circle moment)
Annoying montage of her trying on outfits for date with Jay
Date is terrible, she’s just such a bitch, made her so unlikable
The POV of Heart Eyes is cool – wanted more, or more suspense
Somehow Heart Eyes in her apartment after date, things progressing, it’s looking hopeful
we get it, you’re trying to be funny, but it just felt forced
It was funny that she threw the vibrator at Heart Eyes though
Honestly, favorite scene was the chase scene between Heart Eyes and MC, using the carousel to disorientate her was awesome – WISH THERE WAS MORE OF THIS
The police station scene was pretty decent, I’ll say, but they did make it a bit too obvious that the Courtney Cox detective didn’t return within that scene.
“he hides in closets” never elaborated on that, and there was only 1 closet he hid in, and that was at the apartment scene…so?
One thing with this scene though. My god, the MC finds a gun, shoots the 2 way mirror in the interrogation room and says, “Die.” SO COOL RIGHT? She fucking proceeds to miss every single shot aimed at Heart Eyes. RAGING.
The drive in scene was cool to an extent, any time Heart Eyes was on the screen, honestly, I was in the zone. Walking past people and brutally, but casually, slicing through people was fucking awesome.
The car scene where Jay and the MC are yapping and getting all romantic having a heart felt conversation that, I think, was supposed to be taken seriously for the development of their relationship, but like, I just didn’t care lol
The two of them fighting it out with Heart Eyes and finally killing him, just to reveal that it’s someone WE HAVEN’T EVEN FUCKING MET, was such a let down and so disappointing.
The reveal that it was like a trouple and their kink was killing was pretty dope, not gonna lie. I just think it was poor execution. they could have done so much better with the suspense leading up to that, but they were too much invested in the romance and forcing mediocre comedy relief every time something “horror-like” happened.
We stayed for after credits, and they were kind of eluding to a sequel, then we realize it’s just Monica, who btw was my favorite character, and was such a releif because a sequel to Heart Eyes is the LAST THING that I’d want.
(If there is a sequel, of course I’m going to have to see it because I wrote this review, but I’ll be waiting for it to come to a streaming platform before feeding the ticket box)
I feel like I want to write something but I’m just taking it in – scenery is beautfiul though, even the corn fields
shoutout to all the cat photos
okay, the “we’re gonna drink” and skipping straight to the next morning. It’s giving like disoriented.
also love how they made sure there’s lush greenery in all the windows (TO MISREPRESENT WHAT THIS MOVIE WAS 0 POST-MOVIE NOTE)
“when you make it all virtual, you lose. you gotta just be there.”
MC guy (who fell asleep first) pat? Idk his character is interesting. i wonder if he’s going to be the one who either gets them killed or betrays them – jk he gets them into shit
oh no the mohawk guy is suspect
i really like the storyline of it being from an up and coming band and stuff. definitely different
the lead singer is such a shit head
the slo mo mosh is pretty tight
SO WAIT THE DARK HAIR GIRL THAT TOOK THE MONEY IN THE CROWD THAT PAT SAW, SHE WAS EMILY AND THE ONE WHO ENDED UP DEAD. WILD (POST-MOVIE NOTE)
i’m like trying to process how things are going to end up sideways
spoke too soon – immediate anxiety – the whole process of grabbing the phone and not letting them leave
i don’t like how the guy who took the phone and who’s like the mediator (Gabe), seems like trustworthy?
okay hold on i’m spiraling. THEY’RE COVERING UP THE GIRL DEAD WITH THAT KID STABBING HIS BROTHER HELLLLLLO
ugh fuck the guy bringing up the set
what was the name of your second to last song? fuckin hard man, thats the one i did her to. DAWG
okay this was not what i was expecting. fuck yeah they got that big guy down.
“we’ll do it here stage it up the road”
ju jitsu bro i’m living
“This is a fire hazard” – that’s going to come in handy (it didn’t)
This is so interesting, they have like a little crime ring and shit going on
AH they staged the blackout to get everyone out
oh my good god they have a whole squad going in there to clean up their mess
ugh it’s like I feel like they’re going to be smart about this but it’s also a horror movie
is there not a window above the flag hanging..? (twas not)
I hate that the girl didn’t fucking check to see if there were more people before he opened the door? bruh
This made me think blondie (amber) was in on it then she cut him wide open and it was fire
oh my god its a drug house. heroin
MAN his arm is so butchered
paired up with ex marines during paintball is coming in handy, so fuckin real
it’s like they’re just real people
them naming their last band
THEM LEAVING FUUUUUCK IM SKURD
i think blondie is in on it still
DOGS BRO
the red jacket guy is gonna help them oh shit oh shit hell yeah
the girl that died was HIS GIRLLLLLLL
“he and emily”, their bags were packed, they were gonna leave!!!!!!!!
revenge time, red jacket guy (daniel)
“wow a conspiracy” “no, just a cluster fuck”
oop bye daniel, god damn.
I honestly do love when they get the viewers hopes up and then smash em immediately
I felt nothing when Sam died tbh
Patrick Stewart (Darcy) in a horror film is killing me
“they knew real war, they played real war”
initiated Gabe into red laces, seems like he doesn’t want it
Hm Gabe following them in is SUS.
GABE IS TOTALLY HELPING THEM … maybe not
where is amber
AMBER IN THE COUCH HAHAHAHHAHAHA YESSSSSSS
bruh wtf is gabe doing lmfao i can’t tell if he’s helping
AMBER HELP HIMMMMMMM
okay fine she was smooth with it
LOL GABE, SIR, standing in the door way
“i wanna go to jail” interesting
it’s too quiet and sus. I think Pat is gonna die.
long live doggo!
so they’re going to a residence?
OH THE VAN
nice detail, the drawing and doodles from the beginning
I’ll shoot you either way if you don’t hand me one lol
IDK WHY THEY DON’T JUST SHOOT THESE GOONS OH MY GOD
“it’s funny you were so scary at night”
wow finally they shot them. idk what they were waiting for truthfully
Let’s see what Gabe is up to now.
the flashes of that one metal head and the mohawk guy
the dog just walking buy them and them trying to shoot. Wow
oh my god the dog laying on the owner
I know my stranded island band, tell someone who gives a shit
that kind of breaks my heart bc his friends would have been so psyched to finally hear it
“you think i’m kidding? I’ll do it myself” – foreshadowing?
the way my jaw hit the floor?!?!? the brutality of how she killed her, and absolute madness and chaos of that happening within the first 5 minutes and twenty one seconds of this movie left me SPEECHLESS
I actually thought this was like a nightmare or something, not that she was actually dying
“I am in for it”
“i don’t feel like dying tonight” when they’re arguing over the keys
The tension between tara and Art is fantastic
Art making faces at her bc she’s staring at him is fantastic
Dawn on the other hand is fucking nuts
“did you think he was going to heck me up into little pieces or something?” – foreshadowing?
I really think I found my new favorite horror movie
The proposal – his “favorite”?
The fact that he’s a mime too, no sounds, no grunts, no talking – fantastic
You already knew that the pizza shop staff was getting it after they kicked Art out
Honestly, that pizza shop scene, iconic
Tara’s sister is actually going to get them?
THE OWNER’S HEAD AS THE JACK O LATERN!!!!!!!!!!!
I mean honestly the other pizza guy didn’t deserve it, poor dude
OOO the flashing between the girls talking about their thoughts about him and him slashing tf out of the cook
Also Art still not making a sound the entire time he’s murderin is terrifying (get it)
The pest control guy?? NAME IS MIKE THE EXTERMINATOR”… Is this building where Art is from? Is he a helper? Asking if she remembered how they got in?
I would’ve peed on the street lol
Okay, i knew Art was going to end up getting in the car instead of Tara. I felt that shit
friendly reminder to not investigate strange noises in strange places <333
The woman Tara finds is actually so sweet??
“punctuality is the theif of time, dear”
THINGS HAPPEN VERY QUICKLY!!!! ART STANDING THERE LIKE “THERE YOU ARE!” IS FUCKING INSANE
The way Art moves in and out of view of the cars is sickening, I love it
The way these scenes build tension is incredible
He’s just brutal dude. When he’s stabbing he is making sure he’s doing damage
TARA IS AN AMAZING MC
I wonder if the woman she ran into is his mother or something
I FOROGT ABOUT THE SISTER COMING TO GET THEM
Oh no not her yelling for the exterminator and letting art know where she is.
Art is like “brother finally i got her” after he injects tara
The lighting on Art is sick. Him psyching her out like he’s going to hit her is SICK
Bro his garage bag had all his weapons in it
It’s like he messes with her bc she was fighting him the whole time
Oh no way bro.. Dawn.
NO WAY NO WAY
brother. I am speechless and needed a minute. I am completely stunned
ART DOESNT EVEN SCREAM WHEN SHE STABS HIM WHAT – he is truly terrifying dawg
when art is in the dark and the camera creeps up behind him like he’s the one being hunted now. TARA IS AMAZINGGG MC
Her making him get up is so metal
A GUN BRO???? I ITERALLY YELLED WHAT THE FUCK
Art’s side eye is amazing
Aw man I was really thinking he’d tara live
him shooting her in the cheek….did he not want to end it? did he think it was entertaining that she fought him?
His eye roll when the gun runs out of ammo, my god. why is he a mood?
Vicky calling, def gonna say “I’m outside”
Idk why but him texting her back threw me off
THE SELFIE WITH DAWN OH NO LOL
He’s so unconventional
okay disregard the letting tara live or not wanting to kill her
OMG THE CAT LADY DOESN’T KNOW WHAT HE DOES? I THOUGHT SHE WAS A KNOWER
Cat lady telling the exterminator everything is insane, i really thought she knew
also why is the exterminator an asshole
cat lady and her relationship to the doll??? related to Art somehow?
oh no Art with the cat lady’s doll,
“is there kindness in you?”
I think Art plays up to each person’s personality??
Omg no Mike’s boss showing up lol everyone dying baby my god
Her walking down to where the phone is ringing from to find them??
there was so much going on from the beginning and now it feels like a lull in suspense
not a fan of VIcky just yelling around the buliding when clearly there’s a killer in there???
The yell from the basement…the cat lady…? 😦
BRO THE BAMBOOZLEMENT OF ART PRETNEDING TO BE THE WOMAN!?!?!
Brother this movie is so unhinged – when Art is walking around naked with the cat lady’s skin on him
My god. the sawing through Will the exterminator was just killer. but like, the pieces of skin dangling, nice.
BRUH DID HE HAVE TO KICK HIS HEAD LIKE THAT LOL
about 3 quarters of the way through feeling kind of exhausted i think – like the flip flopping between absolute killer slasher shit and comedy aspects
the way i gasped and laughed at Art popping in on the mini bike. Bro. lmao
AND HE’S ZOOMIN AROUND ON THE BIKE NOW LOL
i wonder if there’s so many rats bc they help clean up after his killings?
Why didn’t bestie girl go through the door Will came from? Idk where that is tho
Also friendly reminder, rip a hole in the plastic where your mouth is
ART FLIPPING HER OFF AFTER SHE STABS HIS FOOT LMAO BROOOTHER
MIKE IS ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It’s actually so sad to see Tara. BUT ALSO IS SHE FROM THE INTERVIEW IN THE BEGINNING?
ooo the brutality of him hitting her with the thing
GASSSSPPPPP MIKEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!
why is mike giving weird vibes???
wait maybe hes a real one
NOOOOO OH NOO MIKEEEEEE
Art laughing like “you thought you guys were leaving”
his acting is so incredible
Why did she get outside to back inside…?
LMAO ART WITH THE HORN BROTHER MY GOD
no are the sierns fake?
Art jammin in the car lol
WAIT NO HOW’D HE EVEN HIT HER WITH THE CAR it looked like she was out of the way
UH BROTHER HE’S EATING HER??????????????????????
WHOAA HIM SHOOTING HIMSELF??
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH VICKY WAS FROM THE INTERVIEW IN THE BEGINNINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG metal af
Is Art something like Michael Meyers?
Art’s eye looking at him when it was rolled back when he shot
“you’re really going to like it here”??????
Dude there’s no way. Seriously?
I was on edge the entire movie. I couldn’t tell until the end credits came on and breathed a sigh on RELIEF
the intro then panning to the broken tree in the back yard is awesome the names of the tapes are so clever lol
ethan watching the films with a notepad is me right now
the sound of the ropes when he goes outside to look at the tree – nice touch
the montage of him putting the film in is cool
the sounds in the second film – ick – music/sounds from films are uncomfortable, eerie,
him going to take a drink and the glass is empty while watching the second film
ethan trying to figure out how to edit the film back together, also cool
that tree keeps coming into frame is cool
using the phone flashlight is pretty sick, you can tell they really used that too bc it’s not lighting up anything lol
the cop is such a great supporting character – “snakes don’t have feet” / the fan girling is so comical
when he takes the screenshot of the face and stands in front of it – it’s like a stand off
the face moving in the still on the computer – iconic
when he holds the screenshot up to the window and pulls it down to see the face outside
scorpion, snake, doggo – manifestations, yes
the way they introduce the kid’s spirits is pretty cool, and how their movements are making actual noise in the house and making him move around
the light work when they’re fighting in the bedroom, him sitting in the shadow and moving in and out of the light, the wife mostly in the light…and then they switch places with her in the shadow
“your kids are your legacy” – the twist of the kids being the killers and their own families legacies bc they were never found
the scene of him waking up, going into the attic, the kids and the thing up there, spooky but wish it was creepier
ugh the hope of them actually leaving and the movie ending there.
knowing what was going to happen, sick to my stomach dawg
the images gateways – ethan’s screenshots of the stuff
the darkness behind him at the desk…..foreshadowing of what loooms
“the problem is that you moved” … “you not only sped up his timeline, you put yourself in it”
the goosebumps of stephanie swinging on the parent’s leg….
the glowy green stuff in the coffee was a bit corny
the twist that they would have been safe at the previous home, maybe just a little sage + protection magick
the little kid freaking out when the mom is telling a story about the witch is a nice touch – UNSCRIPTED
guy took 2 kids down to basement, 1 faces the corner while the other one is killed – HARDCORE FORESHADOWING
all the ‘interviews’ seem so authentic and like real people retelling stories
when you really pay attention to the stories and back story of the blair witch, it’s actually incredibly unsettling and i found myself getting super uneasy and uncomfortable
why doesn’t heather tell mike about what she found
heather screaming for mike to wait kills me man, paired with the overlayed footage
brother. that very last scene of mike standing in the corner and her screaming at him and the camera dropping.
i cannot believe how impactful that scene STILL is. literally almost brought tears to my eyes.
FILMING:
the overlaying of audio and mismatched video is fun and a nice touch
the iconic scene of heathers face right in the camera. oh man. so impactful, such great fucking acting brother AND her looking off to the side while she’s filming, bruh
the panic that Mikey emits is anxiety inducing; you actually feed off Mikey’s panic a bit, he seems like the only one that’s understanding the actual serevity of being so lost in the woods, aside from those woods being incredibly haunted
OOF that first scream for Josh from Heather is heartwrenching
you can see the defeat, shame, agony grow on each of their faces throughout the entire film – WHICH IS WILD BC THIS IS THEIR TRUE DETERIORATION OF SANITY
QUOTES:(Even better bc they’re unscripted)
“we’ll all look back on this and laugh heardily” – saying from a real thought regarding filming?
“we light fires, they know” – mikey – the directors? or what’s in the woods?
“what the fuck is that!?” to something out of frame!!!!!
“i can see why you like this video camera so much. it’s not reality” – GET WHOLE QUOTE OF THIS
“tell me where you are Josh” from mike. HEARTWRENCHING
the simplicity of her saying “my hair is caught” mid-panic attack, crying, after she found the stuff- OOF, felt that shit
“it was my project, and I insisted. I insisted on everything.” / “hungry and cold and hunted” / “i’m scared to close my eyes, i’m scared to open them”
“i hear him downstairs” – also iconic
“that was a very uncomfortable movie. very uncomfortable.” – my mom
