Category: Blog

When they say Death comes in 3’s…

…I started to notice interesting connections the more I paid attention…

Make sure you read til the end.

I’ve always been both curious and mystified by Death. My dad passed away when I was 11 years old and it wasn’t until college that I really accepted his death. I had a difficult time understanding the “why” and “purpose” of him dying. It wasn’t until I took a Philosophy of Death class with one of my favorite professors, Dr. Shmikler, that I began to wrap my head around the “concept” of Death. We studied a handful of philosophers who had their own opinions on what death was and what it meant to them.

I remember the first few classes, I sobbed through most of them. Dr. Shmikler even asked if I was sure that I wanted to continue the class, and that he would find another class to squeeze me into. I said absolutely not. I felt it in my gut that this was something that I needed to do, and clearly, I was correct.

The name of the philosopher is escaping me (I’ll add his name if I can find it in my notes), but his words impacted me most. Paraphrasing, he essentially said that death is the absence of life. Something or someone has ceased to exist, and there’s nothing anyone or anything can do about it. As blunt and direct as that is, it hit me like a ton of bricks.

Eventually, I noticed I wasn’t crying in class anymore. I was listening to my peers and their experiences with death, listening to the ideas of those we were studying, and listening to my professor. After that semester, I remember thinking, “This must be what acceptance feels like.”

All of this to say, I have a different perspective of Death.

I view Death as a reminder that we are alive. As something that brings the living an awareness of just how finite our human vessels truly are. And that’s something that scares people. Because we are human, we have trouble accepting things we don’t understand. When there’s a death, we’re filled with questions as to why now, why them, why did this happen, why, why, WHY? And the thing is, we never truly get those questions answered.

Death in 3’s

I can’t really tell you when I started to take notice of this “Death comes in 3’s” thing. I likely heard it somewhere, of course, but I started to notice interesting connections the more I paid attention.

Last week, a friend shared with me that one of their friends passed away in an accident. That weekend, another friend shared that one of their relatives had succumbed to an illness. Without sounding too harsh, this begged the question, who’s the third?

When I’m informed of a death, funnily enough, I never immediately think, “Death comes in 3’s!” It isn’t until I hear of a second death, close to when I’m informed of the first, that that notion pops into my head.

So, let’s get into this.

For clarity, let’s call the person who informs me of a death the informer, and the person who has died on as the passed.

1. I take note of the degree of separation from myself and the informer.

Who informed me? A family member? A friend? An acquaintance? A stranger, even?

Did this information come from a person who I’m energetically and/or emotionally connected to? Or was this something that came from an unexpected source at an unexpected time?

2. I take note of the degree of separation of the relationship between the informer and the passed.

This isn’t based off of the informer’s emotional response. This is based off the actual distance in relation of the informer and the passed.

The informer’s reaction to the death of the passed does not necessarily indicate the degree of separation. The informer may be devastated to hear of the death, but when looking at the dynamics of the relationship between the two, they may not be very close. This is not to diminish the feelings of the informer about the passed, but right now, we are speaking very matter-of-factually.

A person’s reaction to death is mostly based on their perspective of their understanding of death, in my humble opinion. And I don’t mean natural grieving and mourning a death, I believe that is different. I’m going to have to make another post in regards to this. I wasn’t joking when I said I’m fascinated by death and dying!

3. Based on the above, I determine the degree of separation between myself and the third potential death.

Based on the degree of separation between myself and the informer, and the degree of separation between the informer and the passed, I’m able to determine the degree of separation between myself and the third potential death.

This is not to say that this is a way to predict death.

I say “potential death” because this does not necessarily mean that there will actually be a third. This is not some type of prediction method or anything like that. This is just a pattern that I’ve noticed throughout the years.

Nor is any of this fact or based on anything other than the way I think about things. Truly. This isn’t a psychic thing either (I don’t think?), but more of just a noticing because I’m paying attention type of deal.

If you’ve made it this far, how we doin’?

If you follow me on the socials, you’ll know that Mercury Retrograde got me good and my original post that was uploaded yesterday was all types of messed up. Somehow I lost all of my edits and my very first draft was uploaded instead. I noticed this because I wanted to make an update…

Yesterday, I was informed of a third death. It just so happened to be the same degree of separation from myself and the informer as the other two.. therefore my theory of the degree of separation from myself and the passed being the same “distance” as the other two deaths in this particular situation was correct.

Conclusion

Soooo, obviously there was a reason why that previous version of this post got wiped. Would it have been easier to update the post? Of course. But clearly, I was meat to rewrite all of my points and explanations with the acquired knowledge of the third death.

Wild, right? As much as I have to emphasize that this is not a prediction method by any means, pretty interesting that the day I upload my first version, it gets wiped and then I found out about a third passing.

What are your thoughts on this? Have you noticed anything similar, or even other patterns surrounding death? I’m so curious, so please share!!

Until I notice another weird pattern about the universe..

Xox,
Meg

To those who have passed that I referenced.. Rest easy. Rest peacefully. You are forever loved and will be remembered.

To those who are mourning their loss.. Celebrate their lives. Find solace in memories. moments. stories. Support each other. Embrace closeness. Embrace love.

I Did A Photo Shoot!

A couple weeks ago, my friend Devon asked if I’d be down to do a photo shoot for spooky season. He’d been playing around with film lately and had just gotten some black and white film that he wanted to test out. Of course, I said yes! This was my first photo shoot ever and it was so much fun.

When he asked me where I wanted to shoot, I had no clue. Naturally, I asked my mom if she had any ideas, and she suggested the Mohonk Preserve Testimonial Gateway in New Paltz. We utilized the eeriness of the stone structure and nearby woods to capture some really cool moments and visuals on film. Then, we went back through to capture them on his digital camera as well. Flip through and check out the digital photos in the gallery below!

About Devon:

Devon Wood is a photographer, videographer and content creator born and raised in the Hudson Valley, NY. He’s always used photos and videos for both storytelling and as a therapeutic, expressive outlet. Outside of creating, he enjoys the outdoors, television, movies and sports. Follow him on Instagram: @unrealdevonwood

About The Location:

In 1908, the “Smiley Testimonial Gateway” was built as a 50th wedding anniversary gift for Albert Keith Smiley and Eliza Phelps Smiley, the founders of Mohonk. Around 1,200 of the couple’s friends contributed the funds that would help build such a monumental structure and create the perfect entrance to the Mohonk property. If you visit, be sure to look for the inscription over the arch of the gateway that leads to the 3.2 miles of walkway through a line of trees that is quite a beautiful site to see.

Sources:

https://abouttown.us/articles/the-testimonial-gateway/

How to Cope with Negative Feelings (and Transmute Them)

Learning how to cope with negative feelings can be just as difficult as the situation that brought about the negative feelings in the first place. We get sad, angry, jealous, confused, distraught, and sometimes it’s difficult to find relief. Let’s be real, feeling any kind of negativity within us just doesn’t feel good – physically, mentally, energetically, emotionally, or spiritually.

And if you’re reading this, you’re probably going through a tough time right now. I just want you to know that I’m here for you and you are not alone in what you’re feeling. Nor are you alone in searching for relief and coping mechanisms for how to overcome these challenging feelings.

The information below is all opinion and based on my own personal experiences.

I want to clarify, that I’m no medical professional by any means. Therefore, if you are in a mental health crisis, please reach out to your doctor, someone you trust, or call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (988).

Remember, there are so many people that are grateful that you exist. You are so loved.

A screenshot from Merriam-Webster Dictionary of the word "cope" and its' definition. It reads, "cope - verb - (coped; coping) intransitive verb. 1. a.: to deal with and attempt to overcome problems and difficulties - often used with "with".

What does it mean “to cope”?

I feel like the word “cope” has been thrown around a bit too much when it became part of mainstream culture. I’ve noticed some internet dwellers use it to emphasize dramatics or in a sarcastic manner. However, like the definition above reads, it’s used to describe overcoming significant situations.

Coping can be confused with distracting. I have to say that I’m guilty of distracting myself from negative emotions in order to push them aside and keep it moving. Honestly, that’s not a healthy thing to do.

In the definition, the terms deal with and attempt to suggest action. When we cope with negativity, we are taking action to address these feelings head-on, instead of disregarding and suppressing them, or using distractions to keep our minds busy. But just as the word attempt suggests, sometimes we try to deal with these things and we struggle.

So, what do we do then?

A woman's hand in a clear, flowing stream meant to represent the idea of transmuting negative energy to allow us to flow with our emotions.

How can we transmute negative energy and feelings?

The word transmute means to change something’s form, nature, or substance. When we talk about transmuting energy, think of it as utilizing negative feelings to fuel an action that is releasing in some way, shape, or form.

For example, if you suffer from anxiety, it’s well-known that exercise is effective in diminishing feelings of anxiety, worry, and stress. This is a healthy way to not only cope with intense negative feelings, but also to transmute the negative energy you’re feeling into energy for a workout. In college, I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and one of my main outlets, or coping mechanisms, was the on-campus gym.

There are many other coping strategies I still use to this day that allow me to redirect energy from festering negative emotions into more positive, healthy activities that release these feelings.

A laptop outside surrounded by trees meant to represent the productivity that can be channeled from transmuting negative energy into proactive energy.

Five ways to help you cope with and transmute negative feelings.

1. write them down

It’s as simple as you might think. Grab a journal, printer paper, your phone’s notes app, or laptop and get everything out. Write a letter (that you won’t mail), an email (that you won’t send), poetry, or something less structured. This allows you to get negative feelings out in a way that isn’t filtered and really has no negative repercussions.

2. talk it out

Of course, talking through your feelings and emotions during a difficult time with someone you trust is a great way to release. Sometimes others are able to offer different perspectives that can be helpful when learning how to cope with negative feelings.

3. dance it out

Yes, you read that right! I recently had a conversation with a friend that revolved around an Instagram reel. The video was captioned, “POV: you see me doing rasputin in my bathroom to scare off the panic attack”. And yes, there was someone doing the rasputin dance in their bathroom. When I sent it to them as something to giggle about, they said that dancing has actually worked for them when dealing with their anxiety. “Okay but singing and dancing actually helps.”, they said, “I think it tricks my brain that I must be comfortable if I’m going [to do] those things.” I honestly have never tried this one, but I’m willing to try it out if the opportunity arises.

4. do something you love

It’s simple really. Using negative energy to do something that you love is transmutation. You’re transmuting the negative feelings and energy into proactive energy going toward something you enjoy. Whether it’s writing, reading, painting, decorating, shopping, cooking, going for a drive, etc. You have the ability to take control of your energy and feelings. Plus, you may even create or find something beautiful in the process.

5. acknowledge them and let yourself feel

Finally, allow yourself to feel these emotions deeply, acknowledge them and accept them. I know sometimes our initial response to anything negative is to push it down, distract ourselves, or move on quickly. I get it. But negative energy and feelings are tricky. The more they sit inside of us, the more they take a toll on our inner well-being. Frankly, it’s not healthy. The goal is to learn how to turn negative feelings into energy that can be used to do something more positive. Practice makes progress.

I hope that this shed some light on any darkness you may be facing. Like I said at the beginning, learning how to cope with negative feelings can be just as tough and what brought them about. As long as we acknowledge them, we’re gentle with ourselves during this time, and we learn what works best for us to cope with them in a healthy manner, nothing will be able to break you.

Love to you always,
MKB

If you or someone you love needs support, please call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (988). There are so many people that are grateful that you exist. You are not alone.